Goodbye Cherry Tomatoes

Garden Update

I've picked cherry tomatoes till I'm tired of picking them. Some weeks I'd pick a gallon of them every other day. Although I remember picking cherry tomatoes as late as November last year. This year once the lower clusters ripened and were picked. The clusters ripened in turn following up the plant. Once only the tops were left the lower half of the plants began to wilt and yellow. Having picked another pint today I plucked up all twelve plants out of the garden. I also got rid of the last of my zucchini plants. Most of the cucumbers had died back as well, so they got tossed too.

I pruned my Heatwave Tomatoes back and liberally applied fungicide to all the tomatoes, which seems to have helped the blight problem. I transplanted the remaining jalapeños out of the way. I planted about a 12' x 12' square of Merit corn on four rows at the end of the garden. I'm planting about half a row of Blue Lake pole beans and a half row of speckled butter beans. This isn't a fall garden being that it will be ready for picking late August, but I planted my garden in early March this year before the last frost. I plan on replanting again in August for the fall with other vegetables. It's been fun but also a lot of work.

Grace Where It's Needed Most

I've been so excited to catch up with some old friends these past few weeks, but I'm sort of heartbroken by the heartaches that many have gone through. Why are those most in need of grace kicked when they're down? When given glaring opportunities to be "Christ-like," why have so many thrown rocks instead? There are few things that boil my blood as much as self-righteousness and downright meanness. I've been so disappointed to find that the most religious people I've caught up with have been the most distant, cold, and aloof, and I've spent the last 10 years in the church for crying out loud! Without fail the first question is where are you pastoring? where did you preach last Sunday? are you going to church anywhere? followed by bewilderment and suggestions of places I should try. Are these really the things that matter most? Is this how we value people and size them up, by their church attendance?

I ran into an old friend I used to work with years ago today. It was so good to see him. It was good to hear his story. It was good to feel like nothing has changed between us although we hadn't seen each other since God knows when. I turned to leave when he asked me, "are you still preaching?" I may have surprised myself as much as him when I turned back and replied without hesitation, "No man, I quit." A short conversation followed to explain what I meant. I've had a lot of those conversations. Funny, how those who aren't dyed in the wool are so willing and eager to talk about spiritual things. I haven't asked one person about where they go to church and what they believe. They've been all too free to offer the information, wanting to talk with someone who understands where they're coming from.

I'm slowly beginning to float to the surface of this deep sea of questions I've been sinking in. I'm beginning to see some semblance of a real world faith emerge before me that I can embrace and live. One conversation after another, a view of the mission is coming into focus. If Paul was the apostle to the Gentiles, the outsiders, is it too presumptuous of me to ask God to let me be like Jesus, a friend of sinners, and I chief among them?

Marking Time

I'm sure you've heard as many theories offered as I have for what Jesus wrote in the dirt that day that drove away the accusers of a woman caught in adultery. One of the more popular beliefs is that Jesus began writing out specific sins of her accusers. I think there is a certain danger in reading into scripture what's not there. Too much of it has already been meddled with thru the years from copy to copy. It seems many people struggle to grasp the simple humanity of Jesus and find it hard to believe he could have lived his life as a mere man.

Can you imagine all of the shrines, the denominations, the religious relics that would have been built around the drawing of Jesus in the sand had it only been recorded? I'm glad it was trampled on. Too much of religious tradition focuses on the "what" and not the "why." I believe the intent and the spirit of what could be holy has been lost on making sure we get it just right. I think it was Rob Bell who suggested in his book Velvet Elvis that by writing in the dirt Jesus was simply "marking time." It afforded time for cooler heads to prevail and simple words to disarm self-righteousness, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

"Marking time" is a good description for these hot Louisiana summer days. Aside from a few grueling road trips to Florida for work. Time is dragging on slowly and lazily with all of us around the house for a change. We've been "passing the time" reading, playing, watching movies, and picking vegetables from our garden. We've been tracking down old friends on the internet, and I've been doing much neglected work on my family tree searching for memories and discovering old stories.

I am keenly aware of what time it is, what time it has been. I know that these hot summer days are elusive as the sand, and fall will wash them out to sea for another year. I know that these footprints pressed into Florida sand by feet five years and counting were gone by morning. I know that in time I will be a name and dates on some one's forgotten limb.

We hear too much of "wars and rumors of wars" these days. The powers that be have given us a new "hill on which to die," yet another ideological struggle that spills every one's blood but their own. These battles aren't waged on mountains but on piles of sand, and the tide is coming. Life isn't about being right. It's about being together. So we wait... marking time, making memories together.

Love and Duty

The Painted Veil with Naomi Watts and Edward Norton is a powerful story of love unreturned, love betrayed, love rejected, love scorned, love demonstrated, love made, and love lost. Kitty (Naomi Watts) opts to marry Dr. Walter Fane (Edward Norton), even though she doesn't love him, just to get as far away from her mother as she can. The new bride far from home in China has an affair with an Englishman. When their secret is discovered, her husband gives the ultimatum to join him in the heart of a cholera epidemic deep in China or immediate divorce for adultery. Rejected by her lover she finds herself cut off from the rest of the world in the midst of enormous human suffering where their relationship is tested to the breaking point.

I find the parallels between romantic love and religous devotion unending. Consider the following exchange between the head of the convent and Mrs. Fane (Naomi Watts):

Mother Superior: Dr. Fane told me he wanted you to leave but you would not.
Mrs. Fane: I didn't want to leave you.
Mother Superior: Yes, and we appreciate it, dear child, but I think you did not want to leave him either.
Mrs. Fane: Well, it's my duty.
Mother Superior: Duty is only washing your hands when they are dirty.

Mother Superior: I fell in love when I was 17... with God. A foolish girl with romantic notions about the life of a religious, but my love was passionate. Over the years my feelings have changed. He's disappointed me. Ignored me. We've settled into a life of peaceful indifference. The old husband and wife who sit side by side on the sofa, but rarely speak. He knows I'll never leave Him. This is my duty. But when love and duty are one, then grace is within you.

Many people stay married for no better reason than they have for going to church, a sense of duty or obligation. Obligatory church attendance holds about as much passion as an arranged marriage. I have also lost respect for people who stay married till "death do us part." I respect most those who stay in love, who work at love, who make love. I know many people who just live under the same roof, though they merit some recognition for not killing each other, but their love is unspoken, unexpressed, and maybe absent altogether. Those are not the kinds of relationships we should aspire to nor settle for.

The Bible is not a rule book, nor a list of doctrines. It is above all else a love story between the Creator and the created. While God's love may be the one constant in the universe, we are reminded throughout that our love is frail. We must "catch the little foxes that ruin the vineyards," for "the love of many will grow cold." We must be passionate in our love making and our praying.

We make an effort to grow in love every day not because we have to, but because we want to. This is not a place we have to be. It is the place that we want to be and this is the one we want to be with. Then love and duty are one, and there we find grace.

Faith Into Action

Ok, I read The Spiral Staircase by Karen Armstrong in less than half a day. I couldn't put it down. I think I'll have to re-read parts of it again a few times just because they resonated with me so strongly. I still have a lot to think about based on what I read.

I think the closure of the book for me was the different ways in which to view faith, and how faith differs from belief. 1) For some faith is something you believe in, doctrines, mythology, or both. 2) For others faith is a conscious choice apart from ascertainable fact, and yet 3) for others faith is not what you believe or choose but rather what you do. I personally feel I'm vacillating somewhere between a choice and action. As a matter of fact, I just cannot drink the kool-aid anymore. So I'm struggling to choose faith despite the head-on collision with reason.

Karen's illumination of modern Jewish and Muslim traditions really helped to illustrate how faith is an action even more than a belief. Neither she nor I am trying to say that Jews or Muslims do not believe, because certainly they have strong religious convictions. The way that I understand her point is that for Jews right action took precedent over right belief, although following the law was a means to right action. The end product of behavior was the final determinant of right religion. I also understood her to be saying that the Seven Pillars of Islam place emphasis on action over belief also. Something akin to Jesus saying where your treasure is your heart will be also. Not that belief doesn't matter for Muslims but perhaps that belief will follow action in time. Far too long fundamentalist Christians have been trying to shove a semi load full of infallible doctrine down our throats that stand in direct contradiction to science and modernity.

I'm not sure that belief will come naturally later on down the road for all. I'm beginning to think that if your particular faith positively improves your interaction with others then it is noble, regardless of what differences we have in beliefs. Perhaps the greatest commandment is the only commandment that we should love God with all that we are and love our fellow man as we love ourselves. I'm beginning to see some light from the far end of this tunnel.

I'm humbled and appreciative of her observation:

"The best theologians and teachers have never been afraid to admit that in the last resort, there may be Nothing out there. That is why they spoke of a God who in some sense did not exist."

I have realized in recent years that at the end of the day I might indeed be wrong and others be right. What a strange irony that in losing hope we may find a way forward. That in losing our life we indeed may find it at last.

Climbing The Spiral Staircase

From The Spiral Staircase by Karen Armstrong:

I remembered a Jesuit telling us once during a retreat that faith was not really an intellectual assent but an act of will. Christians could accept their essentially incredible tradition only by making a deliberate choice to believe. You could not prove or disprove these doctrines, but you could consciously decide to take them on trust. They might even turn out to be true. But somewhere along the line, I had given up. I could no longer summon up the emotional or spiritual energy to make that choice. I felt tired out, drained, and slightly repelled by it all. I was finished with God; and God - if he existed at all - had long ago finished with me.

For years faith for me was an "intellectual assent" held loosely together by the "infallibility" of scripture and a willful ignorance of an alternative. Once I stopped suppressing my questions and exposed myself to the world of possibilities, faith would have to be a choice made against the grain of reason or abandoned altogether. I'm standing now somewhere near the crossroads trying to find a middle ground between self-induced delusion and apostasy. Karen Armstrong has become a new found friend on this road to find the middle way.

We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind.
"Ode: Intimations of Immortality," William Wordsworth

My Father's Day Presents

I got this cool new wine fridge from my wife & kids for Father's Day, plus some new LSU Shirts & a Cap. How cool is that? My old cooler went out after a year and was small. This sucker olds 28 bottles! Salute!

Reconnecting

For the last couple weeks I've been trying to get back in touch with old friends, some I haven't seen in a very long time. It's been fun tracking down some of them and catching up with others. I've been thinking about why this is important to me.

Admittedly the first few years after high school were nuts working our way through college, but pastoring churches consumes your life. Your life revolves around the life cycle of the church and the crises that erupt continuously. I never thought I was better than my old friends, even though a lot of them didn't run in the same church circles that I did. I just didn't have time for friends outside of the church. That's quite a realization when you consider the primary mission of the church should be to befriend those outside the church. Truthfully, the church is a good place to get lost. It's easy to get wrapped up in this safe coddled little world of people who think, look, and live like we do yet manage to find plenty to disagree about. I believe that ministry can be extremely isolating even to the detriment of our health, our marriages, and relationships.

For all that I tried to do, the number one criticism I received from any of the churches that I pastored was that I did not visit the church members enough. I agree. It was a constant source of guilt for me, because the list of people to see was never ending. I fell into crisis management mode and resorted to putting out fires wherever they popped up. At least there was some sort of satisfaction in knowing that you were there for people when they most needed someone, but as the years passed since then, those countless hours, tears, and prayers are forgotten. Those same people I counted as friends have no use for me now. In the meantime of eight to ten years I neglected so many of my friends and family members to give my life to those I didn't even know. I find myself here now alone, feeling like I disappointed everyone. What did it get me? Oh, that's right. It wasn't about me.

So, I'm trying now to reconnect to old friends and family members. I have no delusions. Time has been lost. Distance lies between many of us. Though it can be lessened, it will not be erased. We've missed so much time. I feel that I owe many an apology but have mostly tried to communicate how much they have meant to me. I've made new friends along the way, most on my way out of the church. I'm grateful for them.

I'm reminded of what Richard Bach had to say about friendship. This is a compilation of my favorite quotes:

Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? Don't be dismayed by good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends. If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were. Rarely do members of the same family grow up under the same roof. The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.

In her book Silver Boxes: The Gift of Encouragement Florence Littauer said that our words should be a gift given to a friend like little silver boxes with bows on top. A special friend who literally lives on the opposite side of the planet from me gave me such a little silver box this week when she wrote me a beautiful message that ended with these words, "You have a special place in our hearts. I have a family here by birth, but you are my family there by choice." I hope you cherish your friendships and find joy in one another.

AFI's Top 100 Movies

I'm a bit overwhelmed by the number of movies I haven't seen on the list, so I'm starting with the goal of seeing the top 10 and working my way down the list. Surely I can do it. A few may take some extra effort, but I'm going to get it done.

AFI's Top 10 of Top 100 Movies, 100 Years:
1. Citizen Kane (1941)
2. Casablanca (1942)
3. The Godfather (1972)
4. Gone With the Wind (1939)
5. Lawerence Of Arabia (1962)
6. The Wizard Of Oz (1939)
7. The Graduate (1967)
8. On the Waterfront (1954)
9. Schindler's List (1993)
10. Singin' In the Rain (1952)

Blog Post Gets Published

My thanks to The Town Talk for publishing a recent blog post of mine, "17 More Months?". You can find it on their site here, "Vote Now, Vote Often".

The Sopranos Shocker

What the ?

The funny thing is that I had T.S. Elliot's "The Hollow Men" running through my head this afternoon,

This is the way the world ends.
This is the way the world ends.
This is the way the world ends.
Not with a bang but a whimper.

Ok, so Phil got whacked then unfortunately had his crushed by his own car. That was pretty cool. Paulie and the cat cracked me up. The cat staring at Christopher's picture was freakin hilarious.

I thought I forgot to pay my cable bill when the ending happened, or I should say didn't happen. I guess it ends the way you imagine it does. Definitely will have people talking. For what its worth I don't think Tony would have gotten whacked in the diner with his family. He made his peace with NY and Little Carmine. I think the meeting with Junior foreshadowed Tony's own impending trial.

All in all, I think the ending was appropriate. It left the door wide open for a come back or a movie. Moreover, it left the imagination to decide the ending. One hell of a ride, T.

********************************************************

Update: David Chase breaks silence on end of The Sopranos

Changes & Conversations

You know, for the first time in a really long time I feel comfortable in my own skin. Well, for the last couple years actually, but that's saying a lot considering how long I lived in a glass bowl swimming in circles trying to please everybody and be all things to all people. Enough. Reminds me of hearing John Maxwell talk about the Apostle Paul. He asked, "what can you do to a man who's not afraid of dying?" I'm not looking to check out of here anytime soon, but I don't have to live in the people-pleaser business anymore.

I can be myself without fear of being fired for it, which is incredibly liberating. Being self-employed has had an equally empowering effect in my life. Granted, it's tough at times. Feast or famine. You want it? You have to go out and make it happen, but being able to decide when, where, and how you get it done fits my personality so much better than punching a clock. I don't like limits. I love freedom. Doesn't everyone? I'm not sure sometimes.

I love being able to ask questions. Why are people so threatened by questions? I love to imagine possibilities. Why does it only have to be one way? I love to make new friends. Why does it have to be "us" vs. "them"?

We had about 30 people come through our house today for a birthday party. I thought about how many genuine connections I made today, and they were only a few. Beyond the "hey how are you's" and "good to see you's" there's not much connection happening by default. It reminded me a lot of church, how people come in and out to watch the same show for an hour. It doesn't mean they connected with each other any more than the people watching the $4.50 matinee. Connection takes intention.

I'm running into more and more people who are in similar places in life, somewhere between where they were and where they're going. So many people have lost faith in the church but still have deep spiritual convictions and tough questions. I love those people. Those are great conversations. Good friendships come from listening and wondering together. It's so much easier to have meaningful conversations with people when you don't have to steer the conversation to make your point, get your angle, or push your cause. People really open up over a cold beer or a nice cup of coffee. There's a cool moment in the conversation when they realize you're not pushing anything, you're not judging them, you're actually interested in them for who they are. It's like they just relax and set at ease. It's fun to take the trip together just to see where the road ends.

Leave a comment, hang out for a while, dig in the fridge, change the channel. Mi casa, su casa. I'm going fix a drink. Here's to good conversation!

Farce of the Penguins

WARNING: NOT FOR KIDS!!!
BUT FREAKIN' HILARIOUS

By far one of the funniest movies I've seen in a while. If you're easily offended, don't even bother. This is The Aristocrats meets Animal Planet. It's written and produced by Bob Saget who is, contrary to nice guy TV Land image, a real sick puppy. It's narrated by Samuel L. Jackson and features voice overs by some of the best comics in the business. Lewis Black is Bob Saget's penguin buddy and freakin nuts. I can't even quote much of the movie without violating some FCC regulation I'm sure, so just watch it.

Is Loving God Enough?

My cousin posted a blog entry recently that got me thinking. I'm posting my comment to it here so that you might add to the discussion. Her basic idea was that loving God is the most basic responsibility we have and will be accountable for and that a lot of the do's and don'ts are added on by others to make a relationship with God complicated and impossible.

What a loaded question. I'm agreeing with you here but must play the "devil's advocate" just because these are questions I'm thinking about. I'm just thinking as I write. If "loving" is all we are accountable for, didn't Jesus say that if we love him that we should "keep his commandments?" Of course, I would counter that the Bible also says that his commandments are not burdensome, i.e. his yolk is light. Perhaps it is we who make them seem burdensome.

A huge part of the problem is that most people look at the Bible like an algebra equation of which every book must agree with all of the other books. I think the more appropriate view is to look at the Bible as a record of the evolving nature of how people understand and relate to God. So that some of what happens earlier on may in fact stand in direct contrast to what we find in the New Testament because people as a whole evolved in their understanding. Think just how much we evolve personally in our relation to God in just a few years time then compound it by thousands of years of history and thousands of different perspectives collaborating into a clearer expression. Another large part of the problem is that like it or not, a lot of the Bible is editorial commentary. It demands an entire science of stripping down extraneous material to get back at what was said that inspired so much thought.

Another basic question is "how do you love God?" Yes, I know, "keep his commandments." But aside from rule keeping, how do you do it? I'm reminded that Jesus also said if we want to express our love for God that we should love others, in particular the unlovable. For a moment set aside "keeping commandments" and "loving others." At it's most basic level in a vacuum where only you and God exist, how do you love Him? How do you love someone/something immeasurably grand and awesome? On some level isn't your love really based on fear, as it was in the beginning of the OT? I don't think fear is the same as love. The Bible also says that perfect love casts out all fear. Maybe it is awe & wonder that we really feel and call it love for God? Maybe we move past being "afraid" of Him and stand in wonder and awe. How can you move past loving God for fear of retribution or for desire for acceptance? Is it possible to love Him purely without fear or expectation?

I'm going off the deep end now, so beware, but could it be that we go amiss thinking about "loving God" as an emotion felt for a person? At its best, we aspire to an idea, a belief system, a way of living. Religion, even Christianity, seems more and more like a coping mechanism to me, a framework through which we can engage the enormity of time/space and the finality and smallness of ourselves within.

You wouldn't know it by looking at the current political landscape in America or the culture of the deep South, but I believe the role of religion in everyday life is gradually being diminished, albeit at glacial speeds, as people become more and more educated and communication barriers are broken down through technology and freedom of expression. I think the nature of personal religious beliefs will continue to evolve, and I believe only fools and the mentally ill will continue to embrace fundamentalism. Just thinking.

17 More Months?

Is it really necessary to wait until next November to replace Pres. Bush? Even then it won't be until mid-January when his successor would take office, then a couple months to get the new cabinet installed and confirmed. By this rate it would be two years before change would take place. I say if American Idol can hold a vote in four hours and release the results the next day, so can the American electorate. Let's line up all the candidates, have Simon rake them over, then let us vote. A Bush resignation or impeachment would help nothing with Cheney and Pelosi in line for the throne. At the rate Bush is going we're going to restart the Cold War in a few weeks. It's time to go back to Crawford and chop some wood. I say voting begins at 9pm/8pm Central. Don't forget you can vote as many times as you like!

Giant Cherry Tomatoes

Garden Update:

Ok, I've got tomatoes coming out my ears. I'm picking about a quart of cherry tomatoes and at least two nice size tomatoes every day. There are usually four or five cucumbers ready every week. The bell peppers and jalapeños are shiny green and good sized. The squash and zucchini... Well, they taste great, but I've had a heck of a time with powdery mildew and yellowing leaves, although the blossom-end rot has subsided. The plants are just nasty looking and laying all over my other plants. I'm about to pluck up the zucchini and plant some pole beans or more cucumbers in their place.

Oh, my cherry tomatoes are over 9 feet tall, and that's after I cut them off. People have been accusing me of not pruning them when I say this, but I have pruned them constantly removing any "suckers," new shoots. The main stem is over 9' feet tall. I cut them off at the top of the new 10' PVC pipe I'm using for stakes now. Why cut them off any shorter when they're loaded with clusters all the way up to the top. I've just about picked all the cherry tomatoes on the lowest clusters up to about 2-3 feet up the plant. The newest clusters are still forming at the top. I can't give them away quick enough! It's been fun.

Small Block White

2006 Timbuktu Small Block White, Austrailia

I picked up this wine with several others on a clearance table recently. It seemed like an interesting table wine with a curious blend. It didn't disappoint. It's a blend of Verdehlo 62%, Viognier 15%, Chardonnay 10%, Semillon 8%, and Riesling 5%. It's a smooth refreshing wine, similar to Sauvignon Blanc but milder with a soft sweetness. It has interesting unfamiliar flavors with the Viognier and Semillon. It's just a very easy to drink enjoyable white that goes well with many dishes. I read that Austrailia wines emphasize the end product rather than tradition and process. From the curious blend to high tech process to packaging, this is an example of a focus on taste. I liked it so much I went back and got several more bottles while still on clearance. For $5 you can't go wrong with this one.

Don Corleone

I have a very difficult and personal confession to make. As a self-proclaimed movie junkie, I must admit that I have never seen The Godfather till today. In the interest of full disclosure I did see the last 30 minutes on cable last year. Although I think I've seen just about every other mob movie known to man, I just could not live in the dark any longer. I had to see the Don.

The movie did not disappoint. It's like watching stars being born before your very eyes. Without question it set the gold standard for mob flicks. I've been a Sopranos fan for a while now, but while I'm confessing my toenails, I must say I've never seen the first three seasons. I've been waiting to get the box set and watch them in a marathon.

Ok. I feel like I've arrived now. I'm a grown up, like I'm part of a circle of insiders, those in the know, but, somehow, I don't think the Don would approve of blogging.

Never let anyone outside the family know what you're thinking. ~ Don Corleone

No One Knew My Name

I was listening to No One Knew My Name by Marc Broussard today. The words really resonate with me. They're testimonial.

Some people say that I've changed in every way
That the life I'm leadin' gonna lead me away from your grace
But there ain't nothin' like a brand new day
Get to start all over with a big ol' smile upon my face

I aint' gotta prove nothin' to them
Got nothin' to lose cause I remember when

No one knew my name except for you baby
No one feels the same as I do
No one's walked a mile in my shoes lately
No one knew my name except for you, yeah

Life is about the journey it's not about the end

To Preach or Not to Preach

That is the question.

It will soon be a year since I've preached, almost that long since I've been to church. I thought my phone just quit ringing with invitations, but I seem to remember turning down at least two long term commitments in the last couple months. I got another call a few days ago to preach homecoming at a church I pastored several years ago. Tradition has a former pastor come in to preach that day. I always dreaded homecoming while I was there, because you never knew what kind of nut would come in and bore everyone to death or confuse the hell out of them. Then I'd have to clean up the mess. I'm debating on whether or not to go. Part of me thinks I should do it, since they seem to be in a bind to find somebody, and I would hate for them to be tortured by the alternative. Most of me just doesn't know what to say.

I'm such a completely different person than I was. My beliefs have changed substantially. The older I get and the more life experiences I have the more I realize that I don't know anything. Honestly, I think I had this thing figured out when I was 19, but now, I don't know jack. It's not that I don't possess knowledge. I can argue any position. I know them well. I just don't have a position anymore. No angle. No game. No ego that needs stroking. I'm convinced of the possibility that I might be wrong and everyone else might be right. Not a good foundation from which to claim exclusivity to divine truth. I generally respect differing viewpoints and values. The only people I don't want to dialogue with are those that are too pigheaded to give others a fair hearing.

So, what do I say? I'm pretty screwed up. I could easily talk about that for a while. I could do like many of the others that show up and reminisce about the good ole times we shared and tell funny stories, but there's a lot of pain and mixed emotions in looking back on that experience. I could whip out an old sermon. I've preached at least a couple hundred new ones since I was there last, but I'd rather throw up than pretend. I want to just talk about some of things I've learned and how I've changed, but I don't want the day to be about me, and I despise topical sermons. Maybe I just won't go. People don't really want to hear what I'll say. It would probably disturb them. Sure, the sadists say they want somebody to "tell it like it is," but they mean someone to beat up on the failure and weaknesses of others, so easily characterized as sins. No one wants to hear about selfishness, hypocrisy, greed, apathy, etc.

I suppose someone would say I should pray about it, but it's been a while since I've done that too, at least in the traditional sense of the word. I've felt a need to sit in silence for the last few days, and it's long overdue. I guess meditation works for some people. I haven't gotten to that yet. I'm still a beginner. It's all I can do to sit down, be still, and shut up for 30 minutes. Now there's an idea for a sermon well spent.

Garden Pictures

Thought I'd share a few pictures after my last garden update. The zucchini is producing well, as you can see. Almost overnight, they double in size to these giant 12" long 2" thick monsters, which are surprisingly still fairly tender. You will notice in the middle of the stems an example of the blossom end rot I blogged about. The fungicide and thinning have definitely improved the plants but some fungi is still a problem.

The tomatoes are producing like crazy. There are several large clusters of tomatoes on every plant, like the ones seen here. They are beautiful without any blemishes. The rust problem seems to be contained by carefully removing any affected leaves after they're spotted. The cherry tomatoes have grown over 7 feet tall and are loaded with tomatoes.

The jalapeños are about two inches long, bright, and shiny, just like the bell peppers, but my cucumbers are still struggling. I'm worried that they've got bacterial wilt caused by cucumber beetles early in the season, which is untreatable at this stage. We'll just have to wait and see.

Tomatoes Galore

Garden Update

Since I last posted about my garden, I've got tomatoes coming out my ears and have just started getting a few picked. I've got 4-8 large tomatoes per plant. The Super Fantastics are twice as tall as the Heat Wave II, but they both have about the same number of tomatoes and look large and delicious. I had a little bit more rust show up last week, but quick leaf pulling seemed to stop it from spreading. My cherry tomato plants have outgrown their stakes. After re-staking they're close to 7 feet tall now and loaded with about four large clusters of tomatoes per plant.

The bell pepper and jalapeños are loaded with buds and shiny new peppers.

The zucchini and squash have given me a hard time with powdery mildew and blossom end rot. Both are caused by fungi, as far as I can tell. The first fungicide I applied did not seem to eliminate the problem. I think part of the problem is that the plants were too close and stayed too wet, so I went drastic and pulled every other plant to give them room and keep them drier. A few days, water, and miracle gro later, they are perking up, and I got my first mess of zucchini pulled to eat. One zucchini was over 12 inches long and two inches in diameter! Maybe it is working. I applied a different kind of fungicide yesterday to fight off the powdery mildew. We'll see what happens.

We ate our first cucumbers last week. They were so good. Sometime late last week many of the leaves started turning yellow and brown before drying up. I worried that the fungicide burned the leaves, but clover near the cucumbers and near the house also were affected. I pulled all the bad leaves last night and applied a new fungicide. Time will tell.

In the meantime I have a window sill full of tomatoes!

13.2 Billion Years

Astronomers date star's birth back to nearly the dawn of time

Alice White Lexia

What the heck is Lexia? I had no idea what it was other than a white wine, which was enough to get me to try this 2006 Alice White Lexia since I enjoyed their Chardonnay so much recently. I expected some kind of Sauvignon Blanc but was surprised to find a tangy sweet flavor. It seemed most like a Riesling to me, but it had just a little lime kick to it. Once I looked at their website, I learned that Lexia was made from Muscat grapes grown in Austrailia. No wonder I liked it. I love Piedmont Moscato. While the Lexia is nowhere near the quality, it's a great easy to drink refreshing wine for hot weather like this. Salute!

Living Unplugged

A recent post by my friend at Sim Church got me to thinking about living unplugged.

It's been about 9 months since I've been in a church service, about two years since I've been in a service I wasn't preaching. My wife doesn't care about going either. I don't feel guilty at all. I feel free to be honest. I mostly don't know how to respond to comments and questions that come up in conversation regarding faith. I don't want to be disrespectful, so I nod and shift to another topic. Will Campbell said, "Beliefs are what people are hung up on, not ethics or morals. If you don't believe a certain way, then the people in that religion will clean you out." I don't think most people I know in the South are ready for this discussion.

I don't feel my kids are missing out on their core moral development because they're not listening to flannel board stories and doing color sheets in a Sunday School class somewhere. Still, they have questions. They have a natural desire to wonder. I've been reflecting on how I grew up in church and how I've seen other children come up in church. There's an overall conditioning process at work, albeit subtle. I'm not sure I want my kids brainwashed by somebody.

I suppose some "dyed in the wool" fundamentalist is reading this and aghast that my children will die and go to hell if they don't ask Jesus into their hearts. I've thought about that a lot. I've had a hard time buying the whole spin on eternity for a long time. If you ask me to imagine God, a supreme being of the universes, burning my kids in hell for all eternity because they told a lie, were mean, or stole a friend's toy and didn't subscribe to a certain religious tenet, you need therapy.

Micael Ledwith said our culture often views God as sitting up somewhere "registering the scores on his laptop as to whether we perform according to his designs or whether we're offending him, as it's put, an absolutely outrageous idea. How could we offend God? How could it matter so much to him? How could it, above all, matter that he would find it so serious a situation that he could conform us to an eternity of suffering? These are bizarre ideas."

So do we haul our kids to church to make sure they get the same "rearing" that we did, even if we have since rejected it, just to "be sure?" Is that what Christianity is, an insurance policy? Got to make sure everybody's covered, just in case they're right and we're wrong? Nada.

I think it's natural to have an epiphany moment in life, but I don't think it has to take the form of "getting saved," walking the aisle, and getting baptized. I think we don't know how to react to newfound awareness or enlightenment other than to do whatever someone tells us to in those critical and vulnerable times in our lives. I want to be there in those moments in the lives of my children to answer their questions honestly, being sure to say that I don't know when I don't. I want them to nurture a sense of wonder, belonging, and grattitude that will stay with them no matter which path they take. Any religion that makes people feel less than they really are is worthless in my opinion.

So the question is rightly asked by my friend. What do we do now? Do you run to the nearest church on Sunday morning, throw yourself on the altar in a uncontrolable sobbing confession, and ask the church to embrace you and nurse you back to faith? Do you sneak in the back pew and check the attendance box for the week, even though you can't buy what they're selling? I just can't do it. I'm not saying I won't go to church again. I've been talking about a few churches I'd like to visit, mostly other denominations that I'm not familiar with, and when I go, I'll go with an open mind and listen respectfully. Maybe there will be something I can grab hold to and assimilate. Maybe there won't. But I refuse to get in line for the weekly hen-pecking.

On Will Campbell

The Town Talk published an article on Will Campbell in today's paper written by Robin Miller. As a history minor in college with mostly Southern history under my belt, the name Will Campbell rang a bell. As I kept reading, I was awestruck. I love the gritty side of the South and have no greater fondness in my heart than I do for rebels, outlaws, and mystics. I share just a few lines from the article that described my experience in the church and my departure from pastoral ministry and hope they'll entice you to read the article yourself.

Will, who after having pastored one Southern Baptist Church, gave it up forever -- pastoring, not ministering.
"I resolved to be a Baptist minister of the South until the day I die, though never again a Southern Baptist preacher," he has said. "For the first time, I knew there
was a difference. And what it was."

Still, meeting Will isn't meeting a preacher at all. And he's not what you'd call a writer of religion or Christian literature, but simply a writer.

"Beliefs are what people are hung up on," he'll say, "not ethics or morals.If you don't believe a certain way, then the people in that religion will clean you out... A lot of those people will claim to be conservative. But they're not. They're just mean."

Amen. It's refreshing to find people to identify with and who share a common journey. I've already put a couple of his books on hold at the library and can't wait to read them. Here's to you, Will!

Alice White Chardonnay

I was impressed by a 2006 Alice White Chardonnay I tried at a restaurant. Although my experience with Austrailian wine has been limited to the $10 and under bottles, and I am not a fan of Yellow Tail, this Aussie delivered. This Chardonnay is very smooth and easy drinking. It's very simple, not too heavily oaked and just dry enough. The fruit is mild and not overpowering. It lacks the wierd tanginess I get in Yellow Tail. For $6.50 a bottle how can you go wrong. I have no doubt there are higher quality Aussie Chardonnays, but I can't imagine a better one for under $10. I noticed on the company website that they've recently overhauled the image and marketing of their wines. It will probably be showing up in more restaurants as a result. This will definately be my everyday white wine of the summer. Salute!

Man In the Moon

Without a doubt, one of the best movies I've seen in a while is Man In the Moon (1991) with Reese Witherspoon, Jason Landon, and Sam Waterston. I didn't know the movie existed and only watched it because my wife picked it out. I learned that it was filmed not far from here in Natchitoches, LA. It appears to be the first major motion picture for Reese Witherspoon who, I also just learned, was born in New Orleans. This was not the typical cheesy southern movie. It is a heartwarming and heartbreaking drama delivered by a stellar cast. Witherspoon was destined for a great career after this debut. She had to be about 15 years old at the time of filming, which made her nude scene shocking, although very innocent. The feel, quality, and setting of the movie is similar to The Notebook, although it is a coming-of-age film. I highly encourage you to see this great movie from Louisiana.

My Garden

This is the best garden I've had so far. This is the second year that I've planted in this part of the yard with more sun and better drainage. As someone relatively new to gardening, I have a lot of questions. I've found a lot of answers online and at the local library. Maybe some of you out there would like to know the same things as me. I'll try to post updates on my progress and trial by error.

This year I have four rows over 20' long each. My rows are spaced good (except for the giant zucchini plants that are shading my bell peppers), but I planted the plants a little too closely. My plants consist of: twelve tomatoes, twelve cherry tomatoes, twelve green bell peppers, six jalapeno peppers, six zucchini, six yellow crook neck squash, and twelve straight eight cucumbers.

In years past I always waited till Good Friday to plant my garden, but then I had to contend with heat of the summer and watering needs even more. I planted early this year before Easter once soil temps were up but days were pleasant in early March. I gambled against a late freeze, but we got one around Easter with a touch of snow flurries. I was out of town and hadn't covered my plants, but they seemed only mildly affected by the freeze.

Couple days after the freeze my tomato leaves started turning yellow and shriveling up. I thought it was from the freeze, but it kept getting worse and spreading. Not knowing what it could be, I thought maybe it was rust. I still don't know for sure but pulled off every leaf with any hint of yellowing. I may have overpruned them, but a week later they were greener than ever and growing like crazy again.

Two weeks after planting my garden my Burpless cucumbers were turning yellow and dying quickly. It happened too fast to do anything about it. I thought maybe the cool days had an effect on them, but I'm not sure. I replanted the entire row with Straight Eight cucumbers instead, leaving only the last two or three Burpless survivors. I also planted Marigolds throughout my cucumbrit rows. I learned that they are a natural repellent for bugs that love squash, zucchini, and cucumbers. So far, no bugs, and the garden looks nice with the color.


I tilled 13-13-13 fertilizer into the soil when I tilled up the garden. Last year I put a small handful in each hole covered by a little dirt with the plant on top, but this year just let it slide. I have been regularly spraying the plants with Miracle Gro, especially early on then again once vegetables began appearing. I also mulched the garden this year for the first time to help with disease and drought prevention. I have soaker hose on each row set on a water timer. Since I'm out of town a lot, it doesn't get watered consistently otherwise. The timer works great. I generally water for 30 minutes every other day or every 3rd day when it hasn't rained, trying to water deep to stimulate root growth. I also didn't make raised rows this year. I know. I know. I'm lazy, but I also thought in this new spot the plants would have less of a struggle for water in the heat of the summer. I just have to make sure not to over water for now.

The only possible result of not planting in raised rows that I've been able to notice is that my zucchini and squash have developed wet rot on the blossom end. After the flower fell off the end nearest the flower turned a dark wet brown. After talking to the folks at our Cooperative Extension office, they recommended a fungicide to stem the problem. I just applied a product yesterday for wet rot. Before I applied it, I noticed that it wasn't a fugicide after all but actually an aid for calcium deficiency that can cause wet rot. It is recommended for tomatoes and cucumbrits, so I thought it couldn't hurt. I'm going to watch to see if it corrects the problem. If not I'm going to find a fungicide to try also.

I'm having fun watching it grow. I've always had good luck with cherry tomatoes and bell peppers, but my tomatoes and squash are doing better than ever this year. I've never seen zucchini plants so big ever. We'll have plenty to eat if I can stay on top of everything. If you have tips or ideas to share, please post a comment. I hope you find something helpful when you stop by. Good luck!

Financial Biz Buzz

For some reason I was fascinated by the financial buzz yesterday over Rubert Murdoch's proposal to buy Dow Jones/The Wall Street Journal for $5 Billion. Moments after his interview with Neil Cavuto on Your World the Bankroft family, which owns DJ/WSJ, rejected his bid outright. The way I see it, a lot of people made a lot of money on the speculation of what could be, given that the DJ stock price went from $32 to $54 on the news. If Murdoch bought Dow Jones, he could have sold off the financial management side of the company and recooped a large part of the purchase price and integrated the Journal with his upcoming Fox Biz Channel. Although his bid was rejected, News Corp received a tremendous amount of free publicity for its new cable network and made a statement that its serious about being a player in the financial market.

I've had an interest in financial happenings for a long time. As a history nut, I was always impressed with the tycoon's of yesteryear, such as William Randolph Hearst, Andrew Carnegie, John D. Rockefeller, as well as modern moguls like Jack Welch, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, and Murdoch himself. I thoroughly enjoyed economics courses I took in college, but really took more interest once I played the stock market online for a year. The first day I sat down with $300 to buy shares, I bought Books a Million (BAMM). They were set to release earnings reports that day and speculation was that it would be better than expected. Sure enough I sat down that morning and watched the stock steadily climb from $4 a share until it peaked out at $47 a share before noon. I got out just before it peaked somewhere around $38. I had made $2,500 in about an hour and a half. That will spoil you, as it doesn't happen often. I haven't played the market since that year, but I definately enjoyed learning more about it. News like this just makes me want to get back into it even more.

Secco-Bertani Valpolicella

I had committed to merge my wine blog with this one but have been lax in posting tasting notes lately. I recently tried a new Italian wine, Secco-Bertani Valpolicella. I readily confess to being new to Italian and French wine. Varietal names have spoiled American wine newbies with their simplicity, and though I am a Cajun, my French is lacking and my Italian is worse. I'm familiar with Piedmont Moscato, Barbera d'Asti, and Barolo. Valpolicella is a new one for me, and I'm not even sure how to categorize it appropriately other than to say it's good stuff. It is reminiscent of a Chianti's lingering smoky finish but softer. It is mildly fruity and dry, which I like, with a rich spicy aroma. Overall, it's not a heavy wine, like Syrah, but somewhere between Merlot and Cabernet Sauvignon. I had it with stuffed chicken marsala, and it paired well. For red meat I would still lean toward Cabernet Sauvignon or Chianti. Salute!

A New Earth Discovered

A New Earth?

The mathematical probabilities long ago declared it a matter of not "if" but "when" other inhabitable planets would be discovered. There are old questions that are beginning to be answered; others will have to wait. Is there life out there? Definately. The discovery of a relatively near earth-like planet is an astounding discovery that is sure to be followed by many many more with exponential improvements in astronomy. Maybe there are just cockroaches roaming around on this one. Maybe there's just ocean life on a microscopic scale. Maybe there are lower lifeforms. But maybe somewhere a higher stage of evolution has taken place, and someone is asking the same questions we are.

I wonder because I have to, but do you think Jesus died for all of the other people living elsewhere in the universe? Did God send thousands of different Messiahs to each planet to give them each an opportunity to be "saved?" Are they all dying and going to hell because we haven't gotten missionaries there yet? Maybe we can turn the TBN satellites around and point into outer space. Maybe its just safe for some people to believe we're the only ones here. When your worldview clashes with reality, it's somehow easier on the conscience to deny reality rather than change your worldview. Were we to go backwards a couple thousand years, when people were separated by oceans rather than space, are the questions any different? Who's right? Who's wrong? Do we have an exclusive on truth? What's the worth of another person when they're different than you? Life hangs in the balance on how we answer.

I am glad today

I am glad today.
I am glad for the day.

The night was not so long
nor dreams so few.
Hope gave birth to Promise.

The sun woke me with a kiss,
embraced me with joy.
Sweet mercies new once more.

I stand upon the precipice of not yet
and lean into the wind.

Blow! Harder still...

I am not afraid.
I am loved.

Hope

I feel the sand slipping between my fingers
the tide is rolling in
my castle will soon be gone
I watch the sun dipping slowly

Will you come again in the morning?

I wonder.
I hope.
I believe.

The moon hangs softly above
stars twinkle in twilight

Run your course. Shine. Shine brightly.
I will watch for the morning

The Lake House is Gone

Fire Destroys Johnny Cash's Lake House in Hendersonville, TN

I was saddened to learn this morning that the famous and much beloved home of Johnny & June Carter Cash burned yesterday. I don't know if everyone could appreciate it, but it would be the equivalent of Graceland burning down a couple years after Elvis died. The house held a lot of wonderful memories for Johnny & June and played a prominent role in the movie Walk the Line and music video for Hurt. In that same music video there were gripping shots of the House of Cash museum in disrepair contrasted with Johnny's aging body. I wondered how Johnny would have reacted to the news today. I suppose although devastated he would recognize it as part of the cycle of life and death. Whether bodies or our homes they are only temporary residences that will soon be empty.

Tearful Reunion

A returning U.S. sailor returns home from 7 month deployment to surprise his son during his kingergarten class. (NBC Today Show Video)

Wow!

Dobson Slams Thompson

Here's another "sinner" to throw into the fire today:
James Dobson Says Thompson Not Christian Enough To Be Prez

Dobson declared that Sen. Fred Thompson, star of NBC's Law & Order and possble Republican candidate for President, was "not a Christian" and therefore should not be supported by the Christian base of the party. Thompson's spokesperson said that he was in fact baptized into the Church of Christ. Dobson counters that Thompson is not Evangelical and does not talk openly about his faith.

I was already outraged over the virtual campaign of some right-wing ideologues bashing U.S. Senator David Vitter (LA) for supporting Rudy Guiliani for President. The Dead Pelican and others have been on a crusade to slam Guiliani for his record on social issues and throw Vitter under the bus for his support, although he has been praised by the same critics, up until now, as a fantastic Senator and advocate for the welfare of Louisiana.

I was set to pull the lever for Guiliani just to spite them, until I sat up and took notice of Thompson as a possible candidate. Thompson has a conservative stand on social issues, but he doesn't carry the water for the Christian right, which is all the more reason for me to support him. We need a President to lead this country, not a Pastor to patronize his parishoners. Dobson should stick with telling mom's how to potty train their kids on his radio show. Dobson, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Jesse Jackson, Richard Land, and the gang embarass the hell out of many who have until now identified themselves as "Christian." I think the label has got a bum reputation. I'm all for calling ourselves something else. There's no way to get them to switch to "hypocrits" for the sake of truth in advertising.

The Church is Pro-Hell

Pope Says Hell and Damnation Are Real and Eternal
The Times, London, in The Australian

Ok, I'm done. Honestly, I'm through. I just had a conversation about this very subject with my friend yesterday. I'm not sure if I'm going to end up "throwing the baby out with the bathwater." There might be some remnant or core of Christianity that I adhere to throughout my journey, but this concept of God holding people over the flames as a motivation for people to love Him baffles my mind. I don't understand how educated people in a world of science can continue to propogate this stuff week after week. The only reason I held on to it as long as did was that I never allowed my mind to contemplate an alternate worldview. When viewed from an objective vantage point, a lot of this stuff just sounds silly and begs the question how the church expects to be taken seriously and affect our culture positively. Well, maybe they don't. Maybe they could give a damn about redeeming the culture. After all, it's all going to burn up anyway. They're too busy getting people right for the next life that they've forsaken this one. That doesn't sound very Christ-like to me.

Why does everything have to be "us vs. them," insiders and outsiders? Why can't the focus be on the commonality of all of God's creation? Why can't the focus be on the immense love that embraces every person regardless of race, color, creed, or failure? Why can't the focus be on serving one another and lifting each other up to reach their full potential? Why can't the focus be on Jesus Christ who modeled for us what it is to be a human on this planet and set an example that we should follow?

I watched a documentary on Amma yesterday, called Darshan. She has been a Ghandi-like figure in India for more than 30 years. She is known mostly for hugging people. Seriously. She's embraced over 20,000 people in a day many times over. It's really something to watch. She teaches kindness to all people and creatures. She feeds the hungry and has established orphanages and hospitals all over India. She spends three to four months of each year on a road trip trying to see as many people as possible. It's amazing that you give hugs away and people line up by the thousands. Maybe Joel Osteen is on to something after all.

I think we've been too critical of the wrong people for too long. Have you noticed that Jesus reserved his sharpest criticism for the religious establishment of His day, those that claimed to be better than everyone else, those that claimed to be in the know? For the failures, the screw ups, the rejects, the untouchables, there was only grace... grace by the bucketfuls. He lifted people by believing the best in them and pointing them to a better life, to their potential. Wow, what a difference! But who am I to argue with established religious dogma?

Movie Round Up

I've seen quite a few movies the last few days between the Blockbuster movie program and HBO. I thought I should share a few thoughts on them:

Johnny Cash: The Man, His World, His Music documentary by Robert Elfstrom
I love all things Johnny Cash. I've read several biographies, including one by Rolling Stone magazine which was an amazing photo journey. This documentary was not an all encompassing birth to death, rags to riches epic. It was filmed by British filmmaker Robert Elfstrom in the late 1960's as he traveled with Johnny and June. Johnny was so impressed with Elfstrom's work that he later asked him to produce his film about Jesus Christ, The Gospel Road. This movie is archival footage from live concerts, recording sessions, Johnny's return visit to his hometown, and rare personal moments and reflections. Fantastic!

Conversations With God with Henry Czerny
I had this movie in my queue but moved it up after my friend commented on it on his blog. I thought the movie provided a very human portrayal of a man who fell upon hard times and into homelessness and struggled to climb his way back out. I did not buy into the spirituality. It seemed to lack substance and drive book sales or something. Overall, I was glad I watched it.

Take the Lead with Antonio Banderas
Ok, how many movies have there been about courageous teachers who transform the lives of inner city kids? I didn't rent this one, but when I started watching the beginning I had to stay up to watch the whole movie. I'm not a big Antonio Banderas fan, but he did an excellent job of acting in the movie. I guess the whole ballroom dancing thing was a large enough curiosity hook to separate it from the other movies about troubled inner city kids. Definately worth watching!

Proof with Gweneth Paltrow, Anthony Hopkins, & Jake Gyllenhaal
I missed the first few minutes of this one, but it was really good. It's a little similar to A Beautiful Mind but definately stands apart. Gweneth Paltrow was amazing in this movie. Jake Gyllenhaal was ok. Anthony Hopkins' appearances are limited but he's old, heavy, and going crazy in the film, so he provides some depth. He's Paltrow's aging mathematical genius father who is losing his mind. Paltrow's scenes jump back and forth to her time of caring for him and moving forward after he dies. In the process she's wrestling with her own sanity and genius. A very good drama. I recommend it.

Skeleton Key with Kate Hudson and Gena Rowlands
I saw this one over a year ago and just watched it again today. I enjoy movies filmed in or set in Louisiana, especially if they're good. This is a darker movie about old New Orleans and voodoo, and it has some amazing plot twists. It's not a horror film but a great suspense thriller. It's grade A entertainment that will keep you hooked.

Wandering in New Orleans

Downtown New Orleans

I've been working down in Slidell, LA for a few weeks and have had to make a few trips into New Orleans. I've tried to avoid downtown as much as possible. The one way streets with no left turns or u-turns are a little overhwhelming. I think it took me over thirty minutes to get from the front of Tulane University Hospital around the block to get into the parking garage. I managed to get into town a little early before lunch and decided to drive around a bit. The only place that I seem be able to find my way around easily is the "Vieux Carre."

French Quarter

I haven't been to the French Quarter since Katrina. I was surprised to find so many tourists and so much activity. I couldn't resist stopping. I walked the river bank for a little bit then went down to French Market and was lured into an outdoor cafe by live blues music. I had a shrimp poboy and thoroughly enjoyed the music and atmosphere. With thirty minutes to spare before my meeting I wandered down the road to Cafe Du Monde to have cafe au lait and beignets. What a terriffic escape from the day, and a far cry from the frustration of driving in circles!

Riverfront

We've all heard so much discussion about New Orleans since Katrina, but I have to say that we all need to withhold our criticism and cynicism until we take a trip there for ourselves. It is a place all to itself that still has a charm and magic that cannot afford to be lost. I stopped at a red light behind an athletic looking guy my age in a car with two stickers on his back windshield. One said, "Operation Iraqi Freedom Veteran" and the other "Forget Iraq. Rebuild New Orleans!" Seems like he's more than qualified and justified in his opinion. After today, I can't help but think he's right.

St. Louis Cathedral

Rocky Balboa

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that! - Rocky Balboa

Wow! What an absolutely great movie! I was impressed to learn that Sly wrote and directed this film himself. He is just terriffic in this film. He is a seasoned professional that you cannot help but love. There are so many throw backs being released lately, you never know what to expect, but this was a real class act. I also enjoyed the Rocky movies when I was younger, but this one is quite different. With the exception of the final fight, which was filmed brilliantly, it wasn't really a "boxing" movie. It is a story of a man coming to terms with the death of the love of his life, the twilight years of his own life, and strengthening a fractured relationship with his only son. Sly was heartwarming in the movie. It was impossible not to feel for his character and want to know someone just like him. From a technical perspective the cinematography of the big fight was an amazing combination of a real fight on HBO and filming techniques akin to Sin City. It's really something to see. Overall, it's just a really good quality film that has a powerful message about the worth of every person and finding the courage to never give up. Five Stars, all the way!

Wine & Spirits Blog

For a time I kept a separate blog to journal my wine discoveries. It was mostly a personal journal to help me discern what I liked most about different wines that I tried, and I thought it would be nice to share it with others. It soon fell under neglect mostly because I was trying so many wines so frequently I couldn't keep up with journaling. This blog has also been my priority. Since the handy new labels feature that blogger added, it's become simplest to merge them into one and label my posts accordingly, so this blog will also feature my tasting notes. I can't imagine how many people actually come here to read my posts, but, no matter what brought you here, you'll be seeing more posts about wine & spirits. I'm also adding a "What's Uncorked" item to note what I have uncorked at the moment.

The bottle I'm finishing now is a 2005 Sutter Home Moscato from Napa Valley. I first tried a Moscato d'Asti from the Piedmont region in northern Italy, famous for their Moscato d'Asti and recently famous for the 2006 Olympic Winter games held in Torino. There is a little gift shop in Covington, LA called the Grape Vine. The owners personally import cases of Italian wine to sell in their shop and gladly offered a friend and I a taste test last summer while passing through. My favorite wine of theirs was a Barbera d'Asti, a dryer red wine. After tasting the heavier cousin, the Moscato d'Asti tasted like liquid candy. I found this American Moscato several months ago and saved it until recently, because I don't drink much white wine in the winter. With the spring-like weather my passion for red wines has subsided for a time and the only white I had to open was this Sutter Home Moscato.

Moscato is one of the lighter white wines you'll find, known mostly as an after dinner wine. It's even lighter than Sauvignon Blanc. It's very delicate, mild, and very sweet. I found the Sutter Home to be slightly less sweet than the Piedmont. It has the aroma and slight twang of grapefruit, similar to Sauvignon Blanc. When you can't find a good Piedmont Moscato d'Asti for less than $20, the Sutter Home is the way to go for under $8. Cheers!

Casino Royale

I have seen many but not all James Bond movies over the years and generally have enjoyed them, at least up until Pierce Brosan, so I was a bit skeptical about a new Bond franchise featuring Daniel Craig, but I thoroughly enjoyed Casino Royale. The movie is a bit of a marathon; I think it was over 3 hours long but definately a must see. I think Daniel Craig is a slightly darker character than his predecessors and comes across more believable when interacting with the opposite sex. The first half hour is one of the most action packed I've seen, especially when you consider it's mostly acrobatic physical action without a bunch of explosions and hi-tech gadgets. The plot is very engaging, but just when you think the movie is over another twist develops. I think I anticipated the ending at least three different times after the first hour and a half. You definately get your money's worth out of this one. There are some major defining moments in the end that alter the Bond character and complicate him even further, which makes you anticipate a sequel. I'll be waiting.

The Prestige

I highly recommend the movie The Prestige, if only for the star-studded cast: Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Michael Crane, Piper Perabo, Scarlett Johansson, David Bowie, and Andy Serkis. I recently saw Andy Serkis in Longford, and he's slated to appear in several more upcoming movies. It's sort of become a Where's Waldo? fascination of mine to spot him in other movies since LOTR. Who in the world thought of pairing Andy Serkis and David Bowie as the "mad scientists" in the secluded forest? How cool is that? How could you not enjoy a movie about magicians, even if it follows closely on the heels of The Illusionist (I'm also a big Edward Norton fan). I also enjoyed the movie for the amazing plot twists. It's definately worth adding to your Blockbuster queue.

The Perfect Ending

Bay St. Louis, MS

I'm working down in Slidell for a few weeks and staying in Bay St. Louis, MS. I spent the day Monday driving down and listening to a few audiobooks I had, Book of Secrets by Deepak Chopra and Meditation for Optimum Health by Andrew Weil and Jon Kabat-Zinn. I was feeling pretty contemplative, and, though I was very tired, I wandered down to the shoreline just before sunset. I threw on a jacket and walked the beach listening to Enya on my iPod till the light faded away. If only everyday could end so sublimely.

On Wisdom

"As proud children of science and reason, we have made ourselves the orphans of wisdom." Deepak Chopra

I have been completely enthralled in this new audiobook I'm listening to, The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life by Deepak Chopra. I'm not even finished the first of three tapes, and I'm already read to listen to it again and take notes when I'm not driving. I'll post more observations once I've had time to process it. This comes at good time for me in my journey. He outlines the premise of the book as unlocking the secrets to what truly fulfills us and makes us happy, which if we have not already discovered is not money, sex, relationships, careers, or pleasure. This dovetails with the Jim Carrey quote I shared a few days ago that, "Success is a really good thing to attain, so you can cross it off the list of things that will make you happy." I've crossed enough things off my list by this point in life. I'd rather just figure this thing out and skip the vain pursuits.

I saw a quote on a sign today that did not mention the author, but I recognized it as a Gandhi quote. Coincidentally enough, I've ran across the same quote at least four times in the last two weeks. There must be a lesson in that in itself. I'll leave you with it:

"You must be the change you want to see in the world." Gandhi

Beyond Belief

I've just finished listening to The Gospel of Thomas: A New Perspective on Jesus' Message an audiobook by Elaine Pagels who also wrote a book titled Beyond Belief. I admittedly know very little about "other gospels," much less the Apocrypha books. Pagels says that "gnostic" has become a sort of slander that has befallen many other historical documents that have been rejected and misunderstood by the religious powers that be. It reminds me of the way fundamentalists label everything they disagree with as "liberal."

I learned a lot not only about the Gospel of Thomas but about the other gospels as well and the way early Christians viewed Jesus. There was an interesting debate or dialogue taking place in the early church carried out in the oral tradition of masters teaching their disciples (followers). Interestingly enough there wasn't a group of followers of John's Gospel versus followers of Thomas' Gospel. Both gospels were being read and discussed side by side, holding each in tension yet finding a common way between them. Both gospels are dated between 80-100 AD and present a different perspective from the Synoptic Gospels (Matthew, Mark, & Luke). I learned as much about the Gospel of John as I did about the Gospel of Thomas from this book.

There was a Q & A session at the end of her lecture, which is befitting to the overall message of Thomas that we must seek out knowledge and truth for ourselves versus John as the one who has written "that you may believe." Someone asked about her book and its title, Beyond Belief, asking if that is what Thomas is about, that we are to move "beyond belief" onto something else. That's an important question that I've been wrestling with. Is belief a beginning step on the journey. Do you grow out of it and mature into something else, or do you hold belief in tandem with maturity?

She gave an interesting illustration that Faith, i.e. belief, is like the Soil of the earth in which the seed is planted. Love is like the Sun that warms it. Hope is like the Water that nourishes it, and Insight is the Fruit, which is maturity. I found interesting that in that context belief isn't something you outgrow but rather something that supports and upholds the rest. It strikes me that belief isn't based upon scientific data and undeniable evidence but rather a decision of the will. I guess that's why I've had such a difficult time with belief lately because I refuse to deny the questions I've had any longer. Belief will have to be a decision of the will despite my questions and not because they're satisfied.

It also occured to me that so many "conservatives" who hang so tenaciously to belief, especially "right believing," often don't go to demonstrate love, they don't offer real hope beyond the illusion of comfort that comes from agreeing with them, and certainly don't offer any insight into the real probing hard questions of life and faith. Makes you wonder just what it is they really believe in. That's one to chew on.

Jim Carrey on Life

"Success is a really good thing to attain, so you can cross it off the list of things that will make you happy."

"I think we are here to be a witness to creation."

Jim Carrey on The Today Show on NBC, February 20, 2007

Who knew that Jim Carrey could deliver such pearls of wisdom. This is a fascinating interview that says alot of the power of intention and motivation. I encourage you to watch it.

Into Great Silence

I encourage you to watch the trailer for this amazing movie soon to be released, Into Great Silence, a film about the Carthusian monks. Here is a description from Zeitgeist Films:

Nestled deep in the postcard-perfect French Alps, the Grande Chartreuse is considered one of the world’s most ascetic monasteries. In 1984, German filmmaker Philip Gröning wrote to the Carthusian order for permission to make a documentary about them. They said they would get back to him. Sixteen years later, they were ready. Gröning, sans crew or artificial lighting, lived in the monks’ quarters for six months—filming their daily prayers, tasks, rituals and rare outdoor excursions. This transcendent, closely observed film seeks to embody a monastery, rather than simply depict one—it has no score, no voiceover and no archival footage. What remains is stunningly elemental: time, space and light. One of the most mesmerizing and poetic chronicles of spirituality ever created, INTO GREAT SILENCE dissolves the border between screen and audience with a total immersion into the hush of monastic life. More meditation than documentary, it’s a rare, transformative theatrical experience for all.

2007 Grammy Music Awards

This has to be one of the most amazing performances I've seen. I'm a huge John Mayer fan but Corrine Bailey Rae and John Legend are brilliant! I always love John Mayer best when he's live. Seeing him do tribute songs to other artists or join others on stage is always magical. Hope you enjoy!

Changing Worldviews

According to Dr. (Miceal) Ledwith, the single greatest obstacle to our evolution is the way our culture often views God - as a God sitting up somewhere "registering the scores on his laptop as to whether we perform according to his designs or whether we're offending him, as it's put, an absolutely outrageous idea. How could we offend God? How could it matter so much to him? How could it, above all, matter that he would find it so serious a situation that he could conform us to an eternity of suffering? These are bizarre ideas."

And they are bizarre ideas: that in this vast universe, where there are more galaxies than grains of sand in all the oceans, that in that vastness, a group of people - well, men actually - on a small planet got the exclusive franchise for the pearly gate arches of heaven. And every other being in the universe will spend an eternity of suffering in hell. It's hard to imagine a more bizarre idea. And if that's the sort of God you believe in, you just have to wonder: How does that affect your view of the world?

What the Bleep Do We Know!? by William Arntz, Betsy Chasse, and Mark Vicente

I want to tell you how those concepts of God affected my worldview and how I demerged from it. I long ago recognized that my childhood view of God was distorted. I saw Him as a an old man with a flowing white beard and a quiver of lightning bolts waiting for me to screw up. I later came to know God as the Creator, as Sovereign, and as a Father. Nonetheless, my fear of failure and judgement continued to dominate my view of God and a perhaps even more distorted view of God developed. I believed that God loved us infinitely yet also convicted us and punished us into obedience with hell as the destination of all outsiders. As I continued to mature I became a quasi-theologian with a degree and vocation to match. I was trained to study and interpret the Bible for myself, and what I discovered did not line up with the worldview I was raised with. Even still I saw huge discrepancies between different parts of the Bible and between the Bible and everyday life.

The particular denomination I came out of taught that the Bible was infallible, inspired, and inerrant and could not be questioned. That's a problem because while the Bible speaks of the Divine it does so through the lips, hands, and lives of humans whose stories were recorded by humans and later debated over and arranged into a collection of books to communicate a particular theological worldview. Everything that did not match criteria consistent with that worldview was not included. Simply put, the Bible did not descend from a cloud on Mt. Sinai to Broadman & Holman Publishers.

When you don't hold that every jot and tittle are inerrant and study the Bible for what it is, the way it is, using various angles of approach, you come away with a very different worldview from the one I was raised with. When you honestly contemplate the vastness of time and space and the beauty and order of the world and ourselves, you come away with a very different perspective of who God may be and who we are. I'm not sure what I believe about God anymore or if I believe at all. Some days I don't believe, then other days I have an awareness that God is, even though I don't understand Him. I am closer now to what Einstein called "a cosmic religious feeling," a sense of connectedness and unity with all of life.

Writing now from that perspective, I don't understand how it is possible to offend a God such as this. At some point in the last five years, I lost my belief in hell as a place or destination. Although some people have caused such immeasurable human suffering, it seems such a place should be established just for them. In the last two to three years I've also lost my sense of "conviction," my concept of "sin," judgement, and retribution. My evangelical friends would say that I've "fallen away" and have lost all spiritual sensitivity to "sin." Maybe they're right, but I sure feel better without the 800 lb. gorilla on my back telling me how bad I am all day long. I live in wonder and awe in appreciation, trying to stretch my imagination and learn new things all the time. That to me seems much more in keeping with being a child of the divine.

People have to make that choice for themselves. Most people are happy with their life the way it is. Most people are happy with watching television and having a 9 to 5 job. Not to say that they are happy with it, but they are hypnotized into thinking that's normal. The person who has another urge inside of them that they're clearly interested in something else, all they need is a little bit of knowledge, and if they accept that knowledge as a possibility and if they embrace that knowledge over and over again, sooner or later, they'll begin to apply that knowledge.

Now for some people it may take five minutes, and for other people to take that first step may take an enormous amount of effort because they have to weigh that first step against everything they know, and everything they know is attached to the way their life is presently, all their agreements, all their relationships. And to take that first step means that they have to evaluate what it's going to look like by taking this step against what they know, and there's that battle between those two elements. But once we give ourselves permission to move outside the box, there's a definite sense of relief and definite sense of joy.

Dr. Joe Dispenza, What the Bleep Do We Know!? by William Arntz, Betsy Chase, and Mark Vicente