Christmas, Confusion, and Casino Cremation

Christmas finds me wondering. I've been hearing pieces of the nativity story relayed through the mass marketing of Christmas by stores, churches, and news outlets, and for some reason this year it's sounding more and more like telling kids about Santa Claus to me. I've been on a slippery slope to agnosticism for a while, if I haven't already rolled to the bottom of the hill. I'll spare you the play by play of how I got here for now, but I'll give you a wide angle shot of the process.

When you've been behind the scenes preparing for the magic show and you've rehearsed it so many times you can do it in your sleep, when the big day comes it doesn't have the same flare for you as it does for the audience seeing it for the first time. It's sort of like the mystery entree at your favorite restaurant. You know you like it, just don't ask what's in it. Professional Christianity is a dangerous thing for those on stage. After a while, in fact during the whole presentation, you're asking yourself if you believe what you're selling. Here is the beginning of my post.

I've been reading Barbara Brown Taylor's book, Leaving Church, in which she compares her decision to leave the priesthood to a couple's decision to dissolve a marriage. You have to determine if it's the spouse you can't live with or the whole institution of marriage in general. Well, for me, it's just the whole institution of church I can't buy into anymore. It seems like a racket to me. Understand my sentiments are tempered by a couple years of post-ministry reflection, and I readily admit my current state of cynicism.

Being on the front lines close to the action was more than enough to put doubts in my mind as to the purpose and effectiveness of what we were doing in the church. Since leaving I have allowed everything I thought I believed to be vulnerable to suspicion and testing. I'm not going to cling to something for the rest of my life just because I was raised on it. It's got to go deeper than that for me, or I'm jumping ship and finding something else that I'm willing to live for.

I've tried to throw out everything I knew about church tradition and program and isolate a basic set of operational values by which I could live by. The more I widdled down the pulpit I didn't end up with anything resembling the church I knew. I understand more how we got in this mess and created this monster, but I don't have a clue as to how we are going to collectively get back to the original design.

My fasicination with astro-physics, origin and development of the universe and stellar systems, has led me into some deep theological waters. It is beyond amazing how much scientists and theorists have learned about where we come from and how this all got started. They readily admit they haven't unlocked the "mind of God" yet, but they are pretty dang close. So now the doubts that lingered in the back of my mind for years in the church have come forefront with scientific evidence that completely contradicts the conservative, literalist interpretation of the Bible, which I always had a problem with but didn't want to discuss.

I watched an amazing documentary on the History Channel the other night on the true history of Christmas, which traced its development from a "pagan" winter solstice celebration through its hijacking by the Church and ongoing battle between secular and religious observances. It was absolutely amazing. I'd known about many of the secular traditions that predated the religous traditions, but when strung together piece by piece it's so much easier to see how embellished the nativity story is. That just as Zionists in the time of David and the prophets hijacked local pagan mythology and adapted it to fit their Zionist tradition, so did the early oral tradition in the church pick up and adapt local mythology into the story of the birth of Jesus, as the Church would also intermingle the observation of the birth of Christ with ongoing pagan celebrations of Christmas.

I don't know if I'm going to throw the baby out with the bath water or what. I don't know what I believe anymore. I don't know if I'm going to believe again or not, but if I do, I will come back to the faith on entirely different foundations that those I was planted on.

I was asked by a close relative to assist with a funeral for a distant relative this Christmas weekend. I gave up weddings early this year. I've had enough of them. I quit. I think this may just end up being my last funeral. I haven't preached in a while. Been turning down invitations. I can't stand up in front of people and lie, and I'm pretty sure they're not ready to hear what I really think at this point. I haven't even been to church in months. I've enjoyed not going and really could care less about when and where I go back, although I have to lie and tell my church-going friends that I've visited a few places here and there, so they'll feel better and won't be burdened to witness to me. If I were to be honest about how I feel and what I think, it would seriously screw up the theology and self-confidence of a lot of people I know who are perfectly content being plugged into the Matrix. If they want to go down the rabbit hole one day, that's great, but I'm not pulling their plug until I know just where the hell this thing is going.

So after I got suckered into agreeing to "assist" with this guy's funeral, who I don't know, I found out it's a memorial service because he's going to be cremated. Ok, fine, whatever. Doesn't bother me none. Then I find out from family members that he was quite the "hell raiser" in his day. Never darkened the door of the church and was quite a jerk to most who knew him. He's been in nursing home for a while, lost a battle with cancer at 58. Kicker to the whole story I learn tonight is that when the memorial service is over his wife is spreading his ashes on the front lawn of the local casino, his favorite place in the whole world. So, here I am, a drop out preacher, on the verge of losing faith if not my mind, going to speak at this guy's funeral tomorrow who apparently didn't believe in anything except finding a machine that's hot. I got to admit, if God is real, He's got one hell of a sense of humor.

Then Let Us Doubt

"The beginning of wisdom is found in doubting; by doubting we come to the question, and by seeking we may come upon the truth."

— Pierre Abelard


There are days when the questions roll on like the miles of the road. You stop one day and try to remember just where you are and how you got there. I've come to a lonely place and choose to sit awhile with myself. There is a strange romantic irony that only in losing yourself can you truly ever find yourself, that there is much we can learn when we realize that we know nothing.

Reflections on Emptiness

A lot of wisdom can be found in fiction, if you read the right authors. My love of Robert James Waller has taken me to his non-fictional collection of essays called Old Songs In a New Cafe. My respect and love of his work grows with every page I read. Two of his essays, "Slow Waltz for Georgia Ann" and "The Turning of Fifty" are priceless treasures of love and wisdom. I want to share one such nugget from the latter:

When you feel yourself starting to become whole, it's all right to accept positions of power, but not before then. The overriding problem with our country, and our world in general, is that we are, in large part, managed by incompetents. Most of these are men who have spent their lives seeking power rather than themselves.

My contempt for politicians has grown to new heights in recent years with none exempt. When I read such a statement about "men who have spent their lives seeking power rather than themselves," I cannot help but think of the names Bush, Kerry, Kennedy, Clinton, and so on. I think no better candidates have been found as examples of T.S. Elliot's "Hollow Men." Yet for all their foolishness, we endure them. We reward them. We praise them. We elect them again and again.

Can we find those who have spent their lives seeking themselves to serve? An exceptionally poignant article by Thomas Sowell appeared in most of the nation's papers yesterday entitled, "The Washington Meat Grinder," in which he says:

This country needs to be able to draw on its best people from every walk of life and from every part of the political spectrum. But the nation is not going to get them if going to Washington means seeing the honorable reputation of a lifetime dragged through the mud just because someone disagrees with you on a political issue...

Washington has become a political meat grinder where character assassination is standard procedure. Clever and glib people say "If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen." But the far larger question is whether the country can afford to repel people who are desperately needed but who may have too much self-respect to let political pygmies smear their character.

These are dangerous times indeed and the consequences of incompetence run amuck is grave, but perhaps Elliot is right,

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

Reading and Thinking

I thought it would be wise to update my blog to give some background to a new direction my thoughts have taken as of late. My questions are growing by the day, but gladly I'm also discovering answers. I'm slipping closer daily to becoming a heretic I suppose, but I'm confident that at the end of the day there will be something of substance left. Personal peace is worth the sacrifice of popular approval.

Recent reading includes:
Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Richard Bach
Bridges of Madison County, Robert James Waller
A Thousand Country Roads, Robert James Waller
There's No Such Place As Far Away, Richard Bach
Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah, Richard Bach
A Slow Waltz in Cedar Bend, Robert James Waller
Border Music, Robert James Waller
Stephen Hawking's Universe: The Cosmos Explained, David Filkin and Stephen Hawking
One, Richard Bach
Biplane, Richard Bach
The Demon-Haunted World: Science As a Candle in the Dark, Carl Sagan
Leaving Church: A Memoir, Barbara Brown Taylor
Bridge Across Forever, Richard Bach

All come highly recommended. I'll add further posts soon to try to tie all this together for you.

A Moment of Clarity

My fascination with learning has recently led me to astronomy and physics. The thought occured to me that of all matter in the universe, living and static, humans stand alone in their capacity to choose. Every heavenly body moves according to the laws of physics and has no will of its own. While we can't violate the laws of physics, we have a certain amount of freedom to live within them.

Everyday we are free to make choices about what we will think, where we will go, and what we will say, yet for all our freedom the sum of our choices are so very fleeting in light of the eternity of space and time. We will be forgotten. In time those who remember us will be forgotten. It seems that even the consequences of all our choices will eventually be erased given enough time. Our bodies, our thoughts, and our actions were, are, and soon will be energy once more. From the stars we came and to the stars we will go.

Mass gives up its form and turns to energy once more, E=MC2. In a scientific sense the only thing that is truly eternal is pure energy, even though it will be converted into mass again then back to energy in a perpetual cosmic dance. It begs the question "what in life really matters," given our seemingly small and brief moment in the universe. Are any of our thoughts, actions, things, relationships going to survive for more than a moment?

Our unique place in the universe should give us some insight into who we are and what really matters. While there undoubtedly are beings in the universe more evolved and more advanced than we are, our process of evolution should give us some clue into what we are becoming. We are social creatures by our very nature. What may be called the development of civilization in human history is yet one more maturing step along this great process of evolution. When comparing 21st century humans to our predecessors we have made remarkable advancements. If we project that maturation into the future, especially at the exponential rate of development we've seen in the last 100 years, it is beyond comprehension to imagine what our potential could be. We are most noble when we are most loving, when we are selfless. It is not too dreamy to imagine a time and place when we will have grown up past our fears and our prejudices. Certainly, others must have done it somewhere, somehow. However, it is also frightening to imagine in how many other lifetimes and civilizations people have chosen not to evolve. Rather than chosing to love, they choose to destroy, and miss their destiny.

It is disheartening to know that no matter how advanced we or other civilizations become, in time they end. Cosmic collisions and stellar burnouts occur all the time, and when they do the process starts over again as though it had never began in the first place. The slate is wiped clean. It is this beautiful thing we call life. It is rare and precious beyond comprehension. This wonderful mysterious process has been referred to as "the mind of God" by Albert Einstein and others. For all that we now know, there are some things that will always be just out of our reach to fully understand. We cannot fully know the mind of God, less we become God ourselves, yet I believe we can know his heart.

By knowing His heart we can know ourselves, created in His image. We can know the wonderous potential we have to be human. By our actions we choose everyday to deny or to embrace the gift that is life. There is only one way to be fully human, to be fully divine, to be fully timeless. That way is love. Only love is eternal. Nothing else remains. When we choose love, we aspire to the greatest of all human achivements. The pinnacle of evolution lasts only for seconds amid the vastness of time and space, before the tide comes in and washes our sand castles out to sea, but for that moment we embrace our destiny. We proudly embrace our place in the universe as those who love. I have to believe that somehow in "the mind of God," beyond our comprehension, such an incredible achievement as love, is not lost upon time and space. Today with this word, with this action, we choose to love, to be more than we are, to be timeless.

LSU Home Game

LSU vs. Arizona
September 9, 2006

I was fortunate enough to get free tickets to the second game of the 2006-07 season. We had great seats, and it was surreal to be in Death Valley. It was a close one. The Tigers only won by 45-3 that night.

Go Tigers!!!

Losing Faith

Real Live Preacher's recent blog entry could not have come at a better time for me. It deals with losing faith and finding it again, "St. John of the Cross said that there are paths we travel as children in the faith, but real faith doesn't come until you reach the end of the path and find nothing." Well, I think I'm almost at the end of the path.

Most people assume that clergy and Biblical scholars have a depth of faith that borders on naivete. I think for many of us faith exists despite what we have learned not because of it. When you discover truth, you have to act upon it. Either you dismiss it wholesale as blasphemy, or it wrestle with it until you are able to incorporate it into your worldview. I've found that the people in the pew have a far deeper, innocent, and simple faith. I've always respected the simple faith of the people I preach to, even envied it. I've always tried to challenge people's thinking but never in an attempt to make them lose faith. My focus has always been on the end product of our faith. Does it impact our daily choices for the better? If so, our faith has worth. Tragically, I've known many pious people who were judgemental, racist, sexist, homophobic, and power hungry who used their faith to justify and embolden their views. I've come to learn that faith is not the sum of what you believe based on experience and fact. It is a choice you make.

Faith and Mystery

I've been reading Ideas and Opinions by Albert Einstein, which has fascinated me. The pursuit of the meaning of our existence seemed absurd to him. He thought the most beautiful experience we can have as human beings is the mysterious. If we lose our capacity to wonder, he said we are as good as dead. It was the experience of mystery that fostered religion, and only in that sense did he consider himself religious.

I cannot conceive of a God who rewards and punishes his creatures, or has a will of the kind that we experience in ourselves. Neither can I nor would I want to conceive of an individual that survives his physical death; let feeble souls, from fear or absurd egoism, cherish such thoughts. I am satisfied with the mystery of the eternity of life and with the awareness and a glimpse of the marvelous structure of the existing world, together with the devoted striving to comprehend a portion, be it ever so tiny, of the Reason that manifests itself in nature.

He talked about three motivations or stages of religion. First, there is a religion of fear. Gods are fashioned, served, and appeased to aleve our fears of hunger, sickness, death, etc., which also establishes a priestly caste to serve as mediators between the people and the gods they fear. Secondly, there is the God of Providence based upon a social or moral conception of God who protects, rewards, punishes, comforts, loves, and keeps the dead. He says that the scriptures illustrate the development of a religion of fear into moral religion.

Though rare he says there is another level of religious experience which he calls a "cosmic religious feeling" prompted in part by the futility of human desires and the wonder at the natural order revealed in nature and the world of thought. This feeling distinguishes the religious geniuses of all ages, which are often regarded as heretics. It "knows no dogma and no God conceived in man's image; so that there can be no church whose central teachings are based on it." He believed it is "the most important function of art and science to awaken this feeling and keep it alive in those who are receptive to it."

I feel like I'm in a rut of sorts, somewhere between a moral religion and a cosmic religious feeling. It depends on which day you ask me. Regardless of where we find ourselves, I hope that we never lose our capacity to wonder. I don't believe it's our calling as human beings to explain the Mystery but to embrace it.

Costly Grace

These are my reflections on the first chapter of The Cost of Discipleship, "Costly Grace."

Bonhoeffer's argument for "costly grace" over "cheap grace" at first seems to contradict his attack upon the religious trappings of the church which overburden people and make genuine decisions for Christ difficult. He describes cheap grace as "the grace we bestow upon ourselves... it is the justification of sin without justification of the sinner... preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance... grace without discipleship... grace without the cross."

"By making this grace available on the cheapest and easiest terms" the Church may have Christianized a nation but at the expense of true discipleship. "We gave away the word and sacraments wholesale, we baptized, confirmed, and absolved a whole nation unasked and without condition." The call to follow Jesus fell silent.

The danger of cheap grace is that "the account has been paid in advance; and, because it has been paid, everything can be had for nothing." What I have come to understand is that he argues against religious prerequisites to receiving grace. That it is indeed the free gift of God that cannot be earned, bought, or bestowed by man, but he is also passionately attacking "grace as a license to sin," that recipients of grace cannot rest content living just like the world. While the grace of God is free, it is a costly gift, and the receipt of such a gift makes us stewards of His grace. As those who have been forgiven so great a debt, we are under a holy obligation to follow after Christ, which we do at the cost of our very lives. In the end he says that the message of cheap grace has ruined more Christians than any commandment of works.

Martin Luther's departure from the monastery was "the worst blow the world had suffered since the days of early Christianity. The renunciation he made when he became a monk was child's play compared with that which he had to make when he returned to the world." Until that time the Christian life was believed only possible to the spiritual elite, but now Luther demonstrated that "the only way to follow Jesus was by living in the world." He says that Luther learned that "grace had cost him his very life, and must continue to cost him the same price day by day." The Reformation launched a revolution of believers who had been called to follow Christ in their everyday lives. Grace could no longer be separated from discipleship, as though it were optional. The most urgent problem in Bonhoeffer's day as well as ours is "How can we live the Christian life in the modern world?"

Reading Update

The Cost of Discipleship is proving to be one of the toughest books I've read. I'm having to read each chapter four times just to process them. This is not the book you read in bed after midnight. It will give you a migraine. I don't know if it's because it was written in the 30's or because it was translated from German, but it's just tough to read at times. Generally, by the second time I read a chapter I understand what he is saying. The third time I read just to argue with him and myself about what he is saying. Finally, it starts to come together for me about the fourth walk through. The real reason I find the book so hard is that it challenges most everything I think I know about following Christ. If it were any other author, I'd dismiss parts of it and keep reading, but this is Dietrich Bonhoeffer. While he is not infallible, his words are weighty enough that they demand to be wrestled with and worked out in my life.

I just got Dallas Willard's book The Diving Conspiracy. I'm excited to start reading it after hearing what a friend of mine said about it, plus seeing it quoted so many times in blogs and books. I think it will be my bedtime reader. Bonhoeffer will be reserved for those moments when I'm alert and my brain cells are firing in synch. After hearing quite a few Einstein quotes and theories in a movie recently, I decided to get his book, Ideas and Opinions, which appears to cover a broad range of topics beyond science.

I watched Kingdom of Heaven with Orlando Bloom last night. It was an awesome movie about the fall of Jerusalem to the Muslims between the Second and Third Crusades. The movie helped to put the Middle East conflict in historical perspective and has great discussion starters about tolerance and diversity. I'm a history nut, but I thought it was an awesome movie. I stayed up till almost 2:00 a.m. reading 10 chapters of Church History covering the rise of Christendom in Europe, the medieval Church, and the crusades.

The library called this morning to say that my book(s) were ready to be picked up. I think there's at least three. I like to multi-task my reading to keep it interesting. Life's too short to be ignorant.

Sin Cargo

I received my first ever credit card offer in español today. I suppose they thought I wasn't responding to the previous 100 offers because I couldn't read English. The first thing that caught my attention on the envelope was the bold phrase "Sin Cargo." Having just finished a blog entry on the unnecessary weight of religious baggage that we carry around, my mind first thought of the theological weight of such a phrase before I realized it wasn't English.

To my further amazement and sheer delight I found out, one Google search later, that the translation of the phrase is "without charge." Imagine that! Consider the weight of all the junk you carry around with you unnecessarily. No charge! The debt is already paid. So, why don't we just drop it already?

The Cost of Discipleship

After reading about Dietrich Bonhoeffer for a long time I finally decided to read The Cost of Discipleship for myself. I noticed that several emerging churches and the Northumbria Community cite his book as inspiration. I thought for my own benefit I would share some of my reflections.

The birth pains of change in the Church are worth the cost if the end result is "a richer understanding of the Scriptures" and "a more determined quest for Him who is the sole object of it all." Bonhoeffer talks about the difficulty people have in making a "genuine decision for Christ" because the Message is "overlaid with so much human ballast - burdensome rules and regulations, false hopes and consolations... so overburdened with ideas and expressions which are hopelessly out of touch with the mental climate in which they live." His words are so relevant that it is hard to believe that this book was written in 1937.

Bonhoeffer might as well be addressing modern-day fundamentalists when he describes the "Church's concern to erect a spiritual tyranny over men, by dictating to them what must be believed and performed in order to be saved, and by presuming to enforce that belief and behaviour with the sanctions of temporal and eternal punishment." He challenges us to cast off these man-made burdens and to receive the yoke of Christ which is easy.

I for one have often found myself struggling to live for Christ. Frankly, it's not easy. It's tough, but Bonhoeffer says one of the reasons we have found it so difficult is because of the weight of all the religious garbage that we have inherited, albeit unknowingly, "Only the man who follows the command of Jesus single-mindedly, and unrestingly lets his yoke rest upon him, finds his burden easy, and under its gentle pressure receives the power to persevere in the right way. The command of Jesus is hard, unutterably hard, for those who try to resist it. But for those who willingly submit, the yoke is easy, and the burden is light." I think we still are trying to earn His love, rather than submit and receive it freely, so we resist Him and choose misery over joy. Bonhoeffer pleads with us, "may we be enabled to say 'No' to sin and 'Yes' to the sinner." Perhaps that sinner is ourself.

Is It Really a Bad Thing?

There are many different voices in the emerging conversation, which I particularly believe is a good thing. The diversity of opinion within this movement makes it very difficult to define and label by its opponents. Often the only criticism that gets any traction is that the emergent is free-for-all theology. Consider the following quote:

"The great confusion that exists in the divergent positions of the Emergent Church results from their challenging the final authority of the Scriptures. When you no longer have a final authority, then everyone's ideas become as valid as the next person's, and it cannot help but end in total confusion and contradictions." Calvary Chapel's statement on the Emergent taken from Mark Driscoll's blog on theresurgence.com

If the byproduct of this conversation is that "everyone's ideas become as valid as the next person's," isn't that a good thing? I disagree that the end result is "total confusion and contradiction." You only have total confusion and contradiction when a participant in the conversation believes his particular position is infallible and absolute. If you can engage in a conversation with respect for the viewpoints of others, humility, and an openness to the possibility that you may be wrong, amazing things can take place. We used to call that fellowship.

It occurred to me that when our forefathers in the faith sat down in these early church councils to hammer out the foundation stones of our theology, they didn't begin with consensus. While the end product of those councils was a unified statement of belief, that certainly did not mean that each person completely abandoned their own opinion but rather compromised and collaborated so that the finished product would represent the totality of the community.

I paused this morning to be thankful that I was born in a country and a particular time in history when it is not illegal to think for yourself and question everything, no matter how threatening that may be to the status quo.

Enough Already

Is this missions or an invasion?

Churches Putting Town Out of Business

The Runaway Bunny

The only thing my boys love to do more than play in the dirt is to read books. This morning we must have read 15 books in a row while momma was gone. One of the books we read was a classic you may remember, The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown illustrated by Clement Hurd. It's been a while since I've read it last and this morning it took on new meaning. I've learned to expect to find God in unusual places. I try to be sensitive to the fact that He speaks in many ways and often at odd times. This morning it was in a familiar children's book.

Once there was a little bunny who wanted to run away.
So he said to his mother, "I am running away."
"If you run away," said his mother, "I will run after you.
For you are my little bunny."

Tommy Tenney has built an entire ministry around the idea of chasing after God based upon an encounter he had playing with his daughter. Although I've heard him explain it several times, I still don't get it. It's definitely my fault because I've never known a God I had to chase. All my life He's been chasing me, and time after time I run away.

I heard a lot about the thunder and lightning kind of God when I grew up, and I was really scared of Him. Every time I screwed up, I always expected God to punish me for it. Over time warped theology develops into warped psyche. On some level you come to crave guilt and wallow in it. Whenever we discover that God doesn't zap you with lightning, there are two dangerous journeys we are likely to make. We can take easy street casting off all restraint and rejecting authority, or we can embark on a self-induced guilt trip punishing ourselves when others won't. Eventually, even the guilt trip got old, and I got tired of running.

"Shucks," said the little bunny, "I might as well
stay where I am and be your little bunny."
And so he did."Have a carrot," said the mother bunny.

I'm a long way from normal, but I'm learning to let God love me. God won me over. The thunder and lightning stuff didn't phase me. I never found God in that. What blew me away was the relentless love of God for me, a ragamuffin. Every time I stopped running long enough to pay attention, I found God waiting for me, patiently, persistently. I learned just like the runaway bunny that I might as well stay because God has good things for me.

So when I read this story this morning, I saw a snapshot of God. I invite you to read and reflect upon excerpts of this love story as though they came from the mouth of the Shepherd Himself:

"If you become a fish in a trout stream,
I will become a fisherman and I will fish for you."

"If you become a rock on a mountain high above Me,
I will be a mountain climber, and I will climb to where you are."

"If you become a crocus in a hidden garden,
I will be a gardner. And I will find you."

"If you become a bird and fly away from me,
I will be a tree that you come home to."

"If you become a sailboat and sail away from me,
I will become the wind and blow you where I want you to go."

"If you go flying on a flying trapeze,
I will be a tightrope walker, and I will walk across the air to you."

"If you become a little boy and run into the house,
I will become your mother and catch you in my arms and hug you."

This is the way God put it:
"They found grace out in the desert,
these people who survived the killing.
Israel, out looking for a place to rest,
met God out looking for them!"

God told them, "I've never quit loving you and never will.
Expect love, love, and more love!"

~ Jeremiah 31:2,3 The Message

Why I Can't Give Up?

There is a process at work in the body of Christ of deconstructing/constructing, demerging/emerging, detoxing/recovering, etc. that I have been chronicling and experiencing first hand for a few years. I believe that before we can go forward spiritually healthy and on-target with respect to purpose and mission we must identify all of those things that have become part of the religious experience of Christendom that are foreign to the true nature of the body of Christ. Because this is a process we are engaged in and not simply a decision or belief system we subscribe to, it is messy. One of the criticisms made of people on this journey, like myself, is that we are indecisive or lacking in conviction, but one of the dangers I've found in the 3D part of this journey (deconstructing/demerging/detoxing) is that negativity can become toxic if not kept in check.

It is always easier to identify the wrongs in other people and systems, but it is much more difficult to make the necessary changes in ourselves and be a positive agent for change. While voices crying in the wilderness are needed, at some point there must be a guide to get us out of the wilderness and back to the business we are called to be about. Painful past experiences in the church or general disillusion with the current establishment can and has led many believers away from the church, which may not be a bad thing, but the process is incomplete if we do not reconstruct, emerge, and recover into a new dynamic that is healthier.

One of the foundational components of the life of a follower of Jesus Christ is a real and personal relationship with the Master. For me and many others this journey has led us to a deeper, more meaningful encounter with the living Christ. Some people believe that Christianity can be practiced in a vacuum, that the church is optional as long as you have a personal relationship with Christ. I have come to know that the Church is not optional, although many churches are unhealthy. For the past few days I've been reflecting on the fact that the Church is not optional for me.

I have struggled with trying to regroup within a new kind of community. While I've found a number of people with similar frustrations regarding programmed church, many of them have stalled in the process by not going through the 3D process and emerging on the other side in a new kind of community. I think negativity and bitterness have derailed many people in the church, and many others just don't see the point anymore. While I'm tempted to agree with the latter, I know there is a point. There are three reasons why I can't give up.

First, there is the issue of Calling for me. While I shutter to think of myself pastoring again in the traditional vocational sense, I cannot leave the Church because the Church didn't call me. I would consider myself disqualified for the calling had I ever been qualified in the first place. While I am forced to reevaluate and reinterpret the calling God placed on my life in light of the journey I am on, I cannot deny that it took place, because it was confirmed in my life in undeniable ways. I'm still in the middle of trying to reconcile my calling with where I am and where I am going, nonetheless it is always with me reminding me that I am not my own.

Secondly, I have a deep innate desire to experience Community, real authentic Christian community. I am very grateful for the relationship I have with my wife and a few close friends who understand me and help me process life, but I think we have a God given desire to belong to a larger community, i.e. our kinsmen, our tribe, our nation, and our fellow man. A small group is a vital part of the body of Christ, but it is only a small part and incomplete without the diversity and strength of the rest of the body.

Lastly and tandem to community, I have a passionate desire for Worship. While some of the most intimate worship experiences of my life were those I had alone with God. There is something indescribable about the corporate worship of Christ followers ablaze with the presence of God in their midst. No man is an island. There are entire dynamics of the body of Christ that we will never know apart from the corporate experience of the body of Christ. It is an act of humility, vulnerability, and love to take this journey with others.

While I am resolute not to give up on the Church, I don't know what, if any, local fellowship I will inevitably be in. None of us are perfect. Do we gather with those most like us? Do we form a new gathering? Do we gather with those who need our help the most? All I know is that we must keep gathering.

Words Less Spoken

Several months later it seems prudent to explain the title of my blog for those who haven't already figured it out. "Words Less Spoken" is an adaptation of the closing line of Robert Frost's well known poem "The Road Not Taken,"

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

In 1972 NBC news correspondent Carl Stern interviewed Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel two weeks before he died. In that interview Stern asked him what message he would have for young people. Rabbi Heschel responded, “Let them be sure that every little deed counts, that every word has power, and that we do our share to redeem the world.” I hope that my words will not further clutter the atmosphere of ideas but may add something of substance to this dialogue that is community. May the words less spoken be words worth speaking.

Three Kinds of Christians

I've been reading The Man Called Cash, the authorized biography of Johnny Cash by Steve Turner, and have been enjoying it immensely. I read that he was criticized for spending so much time with prisoners. He responded that he thought there were three different kinds of Christians: "there's preaching Christians, church-playing Christians, and there's practicing Christians. I'm trying very hard to be a practicing Christian." May we all keep trying.

Another Pair of Socks

I haven't blogged much the past two weeks. Life is good. All is well. Nothing to get excited about. I've just been enjoying my favorite shows, reading great books, and playing lots of poker. I am still shocked that there are only 3 new episodes of The Sopranos left. It seems like the season just started, and by all accounts this will probably be the last one.

Last night in the episode, "The Ride," Tony was seeing his shrink Dr. Melfi, and she asked him if he was bored. He paused and reminded her that since he was shot he sees every day as a gift, then quipped "but does it have to be a pair of socks?"

I guess it could be worse. It could be underwear.

A Symphony of Significance

I watched Mr. Holland's Opus again last night for about the fifth time. I love the movie most because it's about purpose and significance in life. I see most of life differently these days than I used to, so even watching a familiar movie can be a new experience.

Near the end of the film upon Mr. Holland's forced retirement he says, "You work for 30 years because you think that what you do makes a difference, you think it matters to people, but then you wake up one morning and find out, well no, you've made a little error there, you're expendable. I should be laughing." That struck a nerve in me because it verbalizes how I felt after seven years of pastoral ministry.

In real life seldom do we walk into an auditorium filled with friends and acquaintances cheering in gratitude for the difference we've made in their lives. Maybe we'll never really know the measure of our contribution, but God knows. His opinion is the only one we should be concerned about.

You see, everyday I wake up to two little boys shouting my name. God gave them to me, and everyday presents me with an opportunity to make an imprint on their lives deeper and more lasting than anyone else can ever make, one I pray that bears a resemblance to Him. Because they matter, I matter. So we discover that we find our significance most in helping others find their own.

Saddle Up

My friend, Sim Church Planter, and I were in east Texas today at a Hastings video/bookstore killing time during lunch drinking espresso and reading books for free. While in line for our espresso, a small, irate woman with heavy hillbilly twang stormed into the store and handed her three video rental returns to the clerk with the exclamation, "This is sick! I want my money back!" The clerk was puzzled and questioned what she meant. She said, "I tried to watch this movie, but this is sick. I want my money back!" The clerk calmly replied, "Maam, we can't return your money if you rent a movie and don't like it. Didn't you read the back of the case to see what it was about?" The firecracker popped back, "I didn't have my glasses!" When the clerk repeated her apology that the store would not return her money, the woman huffed out the door. As soon as she left, the clerk nearby asked which movie was in question. The clerk said, "Brokeback Mountain." Those of us privileged to the encounter erupted in laughter. For the next hour you could hear spontaneous outbursts of laughter coming from the front of the store as different employees and customers heard the saga.

Can you imagine the poor woman's shock? She picked up what she hoped was a good western with two good looking cowboys on the front of the box, only to discover those two in the throws of passion within the first few minutes of the movie. I bet she swallowed her snuff. I'd like to thank her for making our six hour round trip worthwhile. Oh, what a small world some choose to live in.

Eccumenical Message on Easter

I don't know how many of you were able to watch TV Easter Sunday morning, but Tim Russert hosted an interfaith dialogue on his Sunday morning news show, Meet the Press. His special guests were"

Sister Joan Chittister of the Order of St. Benedict and author, “Called to Question: A Spiritual Memoir”
Rabbi Michael Lerner of the Beyt Tikkun Synagogue in California and author, “The Left Hand Of God: Taking Back Our Country From the Religious Right”
Jon Meacham, managing editor, Newsweek magazine, and author, “American Gospel: God, the Founding Fathers and the Making of a Nation”
Sayyed Hossein Nasr, professor of Islamic Studies, George Washington University and author, “The Heart of Islam: Enduring Values for Humanity”
Reverend Richard John Neuhaus, editor, First Things, and author, “Catholic Matters: Confusion, Controversy and the Splendor of Truth”
Joel Osteen, senior pastor, Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas, and author, “Your Best Life Now; 7 Steps To Living At Your Full Potential.”

The discussion was riveting. Anyone with emerging interests would genuinely appreciate the content and tone of their dialogue. I encourage you to read the full transcript for yourself. I found Sister Chittister, Father Neuhaus, and Sayyed Hossein Nasr to be the most intriguing guests. Sister Chittister in particular had several things to say that left me seriously re-evaluating my thought process on several important social issues. I appreciate the challenge.

On the home front, let me also recognize the Interfaith Symposiums recently held in Cenla by Rabbi Arnold Task of the Congregation Gemiluth Chassodim, Pastor Leem Weems of Emmanuel Baptist Church, and Majed Sabke, former Imam of the Islamic Center, all of Alexandria. While I was unable to attend the events, I appreciate the message they conveyed to our community about the importance of respectful civil discourse in the pursuit of common ground.

Fresh Revelations

I started reading a demythologized biography of St. Patrick the week of the patron Saint's holiday and finished it today at the dentist's office. I learned today that Hibernia is a variation of the native name for Ireland, so the green theme color of Hibernia National Bank must be a cultural statement and not a slight of hand to make you see cash. Somehow the brand transition to Capital One doesn't quite have the same folk appeal, unless you count the Vikings' prod, "What's in your wallet?"

On a slightly more serious note I was drinking a wonderful Cabernet-Merlot blend from Washington State reading Proverbs and Ecclesiastes this evening when I found an awesome verse which I've also added to the top of my blog,

With the help of a bottle of wine and all the wisdom I could muster,
I tried my level best to penetrate the absurdity of life.
~ Ecclesiastes 2:3, The Message

How cool is that? You've got to love Solomon and Eugene Peterson, don't you? They go together just like a Cab-Merlot. One final quote to share,

The words of the wise prod us to live well.
They're like nails hammered home, holding life together.
They are given by God, the one Shepherd.
~ Ecclesiastes 12:11, The Message

My friend, Sim Church Planter, first introduced me to the name Gotthammer, which he explained was an obvious adaptation of "God's hammer." The origin of that expression fails me at the moment, but how succinctly this verse makes it clear. Words are powerful, even life changing. When crafted carefully they drive home the point and endure. Less any wordsmith become vain, we must not forget that truly wise words are gifts from God. We are but the hammer, albeit, a little hammer, that drives them home.

Let us thank Him for the words He gives.
Let us thank Him for the nails that hold life together.
Let us thank Him for the Word He gave.
Let us thank Him for the love that held Him there.
God make us a hammer in thy hand.

Escaped Convict Loose in Town

In case you haven't heard about the convicted murdered who escaped from a local maximum security federal prison and is running loose in our community, please read about it at The Town Talk.


Before we all jump on the bandwagon of playing "Monday morning quarterback" and take cheap shots at the Ball Police department for releasing escaped convict Richard McNair, let us not forget the more important question, "Why was he able to escape in the first place?" No law enforcement agency should be held to greater accountability for trying to capture the escapee than should the Federal Bureau of Prisons for allowing him to escape.

In years gone by the construction of new prisons in small communities was seen to be a blight and a threat to public safety. However, in recent years the economic impact has far overshadowed any perceived threat largely due to the assurances of greater technology. Richard McNair did not escape from the minimum security work camp. He escaped from the state of the art maximum security federal penitentiary.

Before any new prison begins receiving inmates in Pollock, the Federal Bureau of Prisons should give the public notice of steps being taken to insure their safety and also reimburse local law enforcement agencies for the enormous costs of manpower and resources expended to apprehend a convict from their facility.

Next Question, Please

I saw this headline on foxnews.com today:
"What would drive a schoolteacher and mother to shoot her minister husband?"

Short answer:
The Church

Life Never Better, Death Never More Certain

If you've read much of my blog, you will know that I've been like a kid in the candy store the last year and a half learning to live life all over again. I've been through self-admitted detox to break my addiction to vocational Christianity and have begun the journey to truly know Christ and to know myself. My family is well and happy. I wish I could freeze time and keep my two boys at 4 and 1.5 years old forever, if not for the joy of watching them grow up. I'm in love with my wife who is still my best friend after 13 years. My business is finally turning a corner, and 2006 is looking to be my best year yet. I'm in love with life and am pursuing my passions.

Before you think I'm in a state of disillusioned euphoria, let me tell you that I have never been more in touch with reality. My mood vacillates almost as much as the balance in my checkbook. All things considered life is good, very good, and for that reason death is beginning to sting. Watching my kids grow up and the seasons change makes time seem to race on by. Who knows how many more years God will allow me. Forty, if I'm lucky. 1976 didn't used to seem that long ago. My grandparents are getting older, and their health is failing. My grandfather was invincible when we were growing up, and now he seems very human. My grandmother has alzheimers and doesn't even know her own husband or her own children anymore.

I read the Bible differently these days. I try to read it for what it really says, not for what I want it to say, or for what others have told me it says. [This is the point in the movie where you may want to change channels for a bit or risk getting really messed up theologically.] I'm not so sure anymore what I believe about heaven and hell. If both are real, something tells me people won't be divided up so nice and neatly as we've been led to believe. If Jesus told us anything about it, He said that there will be a lot of surprises for many people. Some days I default to the nice Sunday School version of life that allows you to sleep in peace knowing that you're an insider and have nothing to worry about. Some days I think that the blood of Christ covers every sin and no one is turned away. Some days I wonder if we just don't die like every other creature and cease to be, simply return to the earth from which we came. No matter, death still stings.

I fell in love with the music of Johnny Cash some time last year, especially his later recordings. Johnny Cash was a man in touch with death and pain. He was able to vocalize what we think and feel about death like no other. You cannot listen to his music and not come face to face with your own mortality, which, I believe, is the key to truly enjoying life. The stark reality of death makes life more precious.

I don't think we should live in fear of death but nor should we surrender to it. I've seen many terminally ill people over the years who cling to every last breath they can muster long after their body has given out. There is something in the human spirit that fights against death and clings to life. I'm not afraid to die, but not because I know exactly what happens after death. I'm not afraid to die, because I know God and trust Him to do with me what He will. Until my time comes, and it will, I will celebrate life and enjoy every day I'm given. One day, I will fight the good fight then lay this body down and rest in Him.

All You Need to Know

The only consolation I have when the weekend ends is that Tuesday night is only a day away. Boston Legal boasts some of the most brilliant and talented writers and actors of any show on television, and like sharing a nightcap with an old friend on a balcony overlooking the Boston skyline, the show is even better when sipping a merlot with my friend on Tuesday night cackling at James Spader and William Shatner.

The show began this past week with Alan Shore's secretary Melissa being arrested for tax evasion because she returned a tax notice to the IRS with a post-it note bearing the direction to "Stick It!" While assessing the merits of her defense Alan asked her why she would do such a thing. She responded matter of factly that she did it "for my grandfather." Alan quipped back, "I suppose you thought you told me everything I need to know."

While working in Florida the last two weeks with my friend and business partner, Sim Church Planter, we came to the conclusion that Pensacola has an obscene number of churches. There is almost one on every street corner, if not a pair of them, each blinding the public with religious graffiti to sell their special niche in "Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show." It's enough to make you nauseous or at least run through on Sunday morning turning over tables and sending turtledoves flying.

One particular church edifice was particularly inviting. Smyrna Baptist Church on Pensacola Blvd. boasted a massive white-washed brick facade on a busy street corner proudly displaying the church name and two descriptive signs on the left and right:

Fundamental
Missional
Doctrinal
KJV - 1611

and

Fundamental
Premillenial
Traditional
KJV - 1611

I thought it impressive that they listed fundamental and KJV 1611 on both signs . If they are trying to reach unchurched people, they might as well be speaking Martian, because those religious buzzwords mean jack to the general public. They do however preach loudly to the choir of the converted and brainwashed. "If you don't measure up, you need not apply."

If that's you, take heart and be not discouraged, because there is "A Church with a Choice," at least that's what their gigantic interstate billboard says on I-110. On opposing sides there are pictures of a guitar and a violin with the consoling words "Contemporary" or "Traditional." As my astute friend pointed out, they only offer the illusion of a choice because no matter how you spin it, it's still the same old song and dance.

I suppose both churches thought they told us all we needed to know. It begs the questions for something of substance. Surely, there is more to being a follower of Jesus Christ than clever puns, fundraising ads, and program promotions convey. If you only had a few seconds to make an impact upon thousands of people a day, what would you do? Evangelism is not a marketing strategy; it is a lifestyle.

So, Now What?

I've been reading through Frank Viola's book Pagan Christianity at the urging of my friend, Sim Church Planter, and another reader who posted a comment on my blog entry discussing a Viola article. This book only provides historical support for the gut feeling I've had for years that something is terribly wrong with the way we do church.

Honestly, I stopped reading the book after reading the first two chapters and the last two. I'll finish the middle some time later. The reason I stopped is not that I disagreed with Viola, but that I found myself screaming "so, now what?" I don't need to spend days listening to someone tell me what I've already found to be true by experience. To Frank's credit, he suggests reading his companion book Rethinking the Wineskin to learn about the practices of the first century church. Great marketing there, Frank... put the problem and the solution in two different books. Now, I've got to go nuts until I get the other one.

Seriously, his entire premise and the facts that support it raises serious questions and strong emotions for me. First, the emotions... I feel like a charlatan for propagating this stuff for years in the church as a pastor. I would march myself down to my former churches tomorrow morning, confess my deception, and beg for mercy, if only they wouldn't have me committed or, worse, burned at the stake. My genuine remorse for deceiving the faithful is tempered by my anger for being personally hood-winked and sold a bill of goods since childhood.

Now, for some questions, beyond the obvious, "what do we do now?" Honestly, in a pursuit to be 1st century ecclesiological purists, aren't we simply trading one tradition for another, albeit a simpler and much older one? Hijacking pagan rituals and customs is evident much earlier in scripture, i.e. David and the Zionist tradition or Abraham offering Isaac as a child sacrifice. Scripturally, the nature of the relationship between God and humanity evolved from pre-history until the time of Christ and the 1st century church. Who are we to say that it must cease to evolve to a deeper level? Do we not make the same misguided assumption that Solomon did in Ecclesiastes that what is has already been and there is nothing new under the sun?

I think there are values that should be gleaned and replicated from the 1st century church, but honestly, it is not a prototype for all time. God did not dispense His Spirit into a perfect vessel that only cracked several centuries later in Rome, nor did Christ choose the perfect spotless bride who only grew uglier with time. God chose cracked pots. Christ chose a prostitute for a bride, much the same as Hosea. We are what we are, and He loves us nonetheless.

I think it unwise to lump all pagan practices into the category of evil influences, as compared to the spiritual utopia that is 1st century Christianity. Appreciation, respect, and adaptation of our pagan culture provides a bridge through which the incarnational life of Christ can flow from His church to the world. I am leery of "us versus them," insider versus outsider, mentality. It has proved dangerous time after time, from the treatment of the first church in Jerusalem toward Gentile believers to the treatment of protestant churches in America toward blacks and homosexuals.

In light of what the 1st century church may have done right and what the 20th century church has done wrong, the question that emerging Christianity continues to ask is what does it mean to be a follower of Jesus Christ in the 21st century? In other words, so, now what?

Celtic Music Night

Saturday, March 11, the Alexandria Zoo will be hosting Celtic Music Night from 6-10pm. Admission is $5. See the flyer here.

A Generous View of Life

The feeling comes across that these are people who are driven by ideas. - Professor Martin Carver

I ran across this quote describing Irish monks in an article recommended by a reader entitled The Long Search by William Dalrymple that disusses Celtic Spirituality and its origins. Believing the quote to be an appropriate description, I understand the more why I am drawn to Celtic spirituality. While I believe that we should ultimately be driven by our passion to know Christ and make Him known, the question then becomes, "how do we do that?". I have believed and have come to know that living with a closed mind, convinced that your worldview is the sole repository of truth, displays a limited profile of the wonderful fullness that is the body of Christ. We need a wide-angle lens for this panoramic view of God in Christ reconciling the world to Himself. In that respect it is life changing and life giving to be "driven by ideas."

I understand that to be driven by ideas means to be driven by possibilities. I much prefer to live in a dynamic world of optimism rather that the static world of pessimism. Few things thrill my soul as much as ideas. I am intoxicated by wonder. I cannot fathom the lives of those who never change or never aspire to be better than what they are. These Irish monks fascinate me. For while they lived contemplative lives, they were very missional, treking to the far corners of the world bringing books and ideas back with them. The worth of other people and cultures is valued as means through which God can teach us something about Himself. This is evident in the Prayer of St. Patrick included in the Morning Prayer:

This day be within and without me,
lowly and meek, yet all-powerful.
Be in the heart of each to whom I speak;
in the mouth of each who speaks unto me.

Some quotes from the article that describe well the distinctives of Celtic Spirituality bear including here:

"Celtic Christianity was less authoritarian, more colourful , more in touch with nature than that practised elsewhere in Catholic Europe." Gilbert Markus

"You have I think a much less hierarchical approach …I think they had a more generous view of God…you get this sense of belonging to a great party where God is dancing, and I think Patrick's creed sums that up beautifully." Martin Palmer

"Celtic Christianity had a certain vitality, a simplicity and a faithfulness that is what people wish they could find in the Church today." Andy Raine, Northumbria Community

"People do not trust institutions that have hidden agendas and try to standardise and fit you into their structures, in a way that violates something that with, is within you. And I think in the Celtic tradition, there is this tremendous sense of the presence of God in all creation, There is also a strong emphasis on the contemplative, which appeals to people who just can't cope with the overload of modern society. And there is also I think specially from the Irish mission, a, going with the flow so that there's a sense of life and Christianity being about a journey, in which every day is fresh." William Dalrymple

"This was a more collective form of Christianity. It was a more gentle kind of Christianity. It didn't try to solve everything. It quite liked to leave mysteries for people to ponder on, rather than solutions, which gave you an answer." Martin Palmer

I pray that we all have a "generous view of God," but also that we have a generous view of life, that we live with eyes wide open to wonder and hearts bowed in thankfulness.

The Underground Seminary

I'd like to express my appreciation to my friends at Sling n' Stone for giving me the opportunity to be a contributor to the new Underground Seminary. They are creating a unique online resource for emerging/missional/postmodern communities and fellowships to pool resources and ideas to share with others on the journey. I strongly encourage you to visit their site and "unlearn what you have learned." If you have articles/info that you'd like to share, please contact one of the team members. We'd love to learn from you!

Is It Time to Reboot?

In the cult classic The Matrix one of the Zionists, Cypher, struck a deal to be reinserted into the Matrix in exchange for giving up Morpheus and Zion. While we would like to judge Cypher as a traitor and sell-out, there are times when we understand, if not covet, his decision to choose ignorance. We have heard it said that with knowledge comes responsibility. To live a life "unplugged from the machine" is a dangerous life of uncertainty. There are times when those responsibilities and uncertainties weigh so heavy upon our minds that the "unexamined life," i.e. ignorant bliss, seems indeed worth living.

When we choose to leave the comforts of tradition and the simplicity of easy answers, we must unlearn what we have learned in order to grow. The question then becomes can you unlearn what you have now learned? Can you close your eyes and wake up in your bed in Kansas once you've seen Oz? Can you really be reinserted into the Matrix? Cypher realized the only way the Matrix could ever bring joy again was if he were to lose all memory of Zion. You see, the only way you can go back to the way things were is to lose all memory that things could be different, but we do not have the luxury of a delete key for our minds.

The book of Hebrews cautions us against turning our back on the unmerited grace of God expressed in the cross and settling once again for the vain traditions of men. "If we give up and turn our backs on all we've learned, all we've been given, all the truth we now know, we repudiate Christ's sacrifice and are left on our own to face the Judgement," (Heb. 10:26-27 The Message). For me the point comes down to this: who opened your eyes? If we have been disillusioned by a fad, we must turn back in repentance, but if it is God who has revealed truth to us that transcends culture and tradition, we cannot, we must not, give up or give in to resistance, to loneliness, or to fear. "Remember those early days after you first saw the light? Those were hard times! But you need to stick it out, staying with God's plan so you'll be there for the promised completion. We're not quitters who lose out. Oh, no! We'll stay with it and survive, trusting all the way," (Heb. 10:32, 36, 39).

I wonder what John did after he received a vision of Jesus while on the isle of Patmos. How do you go back to business as usual after seeing things indescribable for human eyes and words? Fortunately, we know what he did. He wrote it down and shared it with others who were tempted to give in and turn back under the weight of Roman persecution. His was a call to worship that began with a call to community. I don't believe we have been called to fill Colesiums with spectators but rather to nurture pockets of community wherever we find them. I think we have a responsibility to worship Him, to call others to worship, to be faithful, and to listen. I don't believe the Revelation is intended to prepare apocalyptic underground churches for end times. I think it is God's instructions for Christ followers to live as spiritual subversives in Biblical community amid a world of empires.

In that context we understand why these are "hard times" for those who operate counter to the culture. We should spend less time trying to unplug the blissfully ignorant and spend ourselves trying to find those who are restless, alone, and wondering with eyes wide open. In finding them I believe we find ourselves again, and Zion will no longer seem such a lonely place.

Renovare Covenant Retreat

Several readers of my blog have expressed an interest in Celtic Spirituality and Celtic Daily Prayer, in particular. I thought it should be worth sharing that I received information today with CD's I ordered from Renovare, Celtic Daily Prayer and Waymarks, about the Renovare Covenant Retreat in Winter Park, Colorado on July 16-20, 2006. Along with Richard Foster, special guests will be Roy Searle, Gayle-Anne Drury, and Jeff & Jill Sutheran from the Northumbria Community. The focus of the retreat is "Solitude and the Way of the Heart: Mark 1:35-37." It's early yet, and I don't know if my schedule will allow me to attend. Beside the fact, that I feel like such a spiritual novice, especially in Celtic Spirituality, that I believe I would be intimated in such great company. I hope that you will visit their site for more details, if it is of interest to you.

Fan-atic Anyone?

Feel the (Honda-Powered) Force
Like many a Star Wars fan, Shawn Crosby (AKA “Obi-Shawn”) dared to dream the impossible: to own his own A-Wing starfighter. Okay, so he couldn’t afford that particular piece of spacecraft, but he was able to transform his Honda Del Sol into something he calls the “H-Wing.” Equipped with its own R2-D2 unit and blasters made of aluminum baseball bats, this ultimate geek ride gets quite a bit of attention whenever he drives it. “Most of the police have a lot of fun with it and generally don’t ticket me,” Shawn revealed. “But R2D2 gets all the chicks.” - from g4tv.com

Brown Emerges But Leaves No Clue

Aaron Brown, former CNN host of NewsNight, emerged from the abyss of cancellation recently in a public speech highlighted in this article, "Broadcaster says serious news at risk." Many Brown fans, myself included, have seen hide nor hair of him since his departure from CNN and have been on the lookout for where he might go next. This article is the first inside look at his personal take on the business as a whole since leaving the network. I personally found Brown's style of broadcast journalism inviting and balanced. He made the viewers feel like they were at his table drinking coffee engaged in a dialogue on the issues. After hearing from so many pundits throughout the cycle of the news day, NewsNight was always a refreshing commentary in the evening to gain a perspective on the day. While the article gave no insight into where Brown's career might take him, we will keep our eyes and ears open. Good luck, Aaron!

A Candlelight Prayer

Lighten our darkness,
Lord, we pray,
and in your great mercy
defend us from all perils and dangers of this night,
for the love of your only Son,
our Saviour Jesus Christ.

- from rejesus, "Taking Steps of Faith"

Yuletide Hypocrisy Lingers Past Epiphany

My wife asked me if I needed help picking up my jaw during our Sunday morning drive to church. It had literally dropped when she read the elementary school marquee aloud to me. It read "Great Americans' Day, January 16, School Closed." I suppose that I should not have been so taken back considering we were driving through a small rural town in Central Louisiana, but I was stunned and saddened. A number of thoughts came to mind.

I wondered if the schools on the west end of the parish in the predominantly black parish seat displayed "Great Americans' Day." Somehow I doubt it. I have yet to understand how one school principal has the authority to single handedly change a federal holiday adopted by Congress in 1983, signed by Pres. Ronald Reagan into law, and ratified in the state of Louisiana as a paid holiday for state workers. Does redesignating the holiday at will imply that the school principal and staff wish to have the day off without pay?

It should be noted that Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Birthday is listed as a holiday on January 16, 2006 by the U.S. Postal Service, the U.S. House of Representatives, the White House, the LA State Department of Education, and neighboring parish school boards. "Great Americans' Day" is not a federal holiday, and a Google search lists few places that observe the day sometime in either February or March.

It is interesting to note that the same demographic residing in this rural community represent the same "Christian" segment of our population that protested the replacement of "Merry Christmas" with "Happy Holidays" only a few weeks earlier. No one should be forced to celebrate a holiday they do not believe in, but a public entity such as a school should not be used to promote a political agenda or practice "reverse political correctness," otherwise known as discrimination. An appropriate resolution might be to require the school principal and students to actually study the life and message of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., a great American.

Celtic Daily Prayer

The New Year has been a great opportunity to go deeper in my faith. It has had a tremendous psychological benefit to start fresh with new practices to strengthen my faith. My friends and I have been discussing the three major emphases of the emerging church, as I understand them: Inward Journey (spiritual formation), Corporate Journey (community formation), and Outward Journey (missional action). While we have committed to meet weekly in a small group environment to further our pursuit of Biblical community, we are also trying to hold each other accountable for the Inward Journey. All of us may be utilizing different devotional practices, but we are all united in making time with God a priority in our daily lives.

For a couple months I have been enjoying the online daily prayer site, Sacred Space, provided by the Irish Jesuits. My only reservation is that it is very short. I have felt compelled to join the tradition of so many other Christ followers in Morning and Evening prayer. There is something about the rhythm of devotion that is very meaningful to me. This led me to research Celtic Spirituality more, hoping to find something akin to the Book of Common Prayer used by our Anglican and Episcopal brethren. I discovered Celtic Daily Prayer which is prayer and readings from the Northumbria Community.

The Northumbria Community is actually a dispersed community with Companions all over the United Kingdom as well as internationally. They describe their community as "a conscious attempt to find a practical modern expression of a new monasticism, which preserves an uncompromising allegiance to the imperatives of the Sermon on the Mount." They are united by three fundamental commitments. The first common commitment is taking vows of "availability and vulnerability" both to God and others. The second commitment is to their "Rule, 'A Way for Living,' which embraces a dogged fidelity to the Sermon on the Mount as an expression of Christian discipleship." The third commitment is to pray the Daily Office.

The Daily Office is primarily marked by Morning and Evening Prayers, but they also include Midday Prayer and the Compline (bedtime) which are optional. I would spare you my inadequate description of the Daily Office and urge you to pray it for yourself for a day, a week, or a season, as a fresh approach to your own spiritual formation.

You may be wondering like myself, how a former Southern Baptist pastor came to a structured repetitious prayer life. For me my prayer life has never been disciplined. It has often been taken hostage by my feelings and the circumstances of the day. While my conversation with God has always been ongoing in whispers throughout the day, I have been craving a deeper walk with Him. These devotional practices predate our modern program Christianity by hundreds of years. Though I have been guilty of being dogmatic in my beliefs in the past, I am not so arrogant as to believe we all have it right and the saints of the ages had it all wrong. There is a measure of comfort and strength in walking down a well trodden path, when you know it leads to the garden.

I am not promoting anything to anyone, just sharing where I am in my own personal journey. Today is the first day since I received my copy of Celtic Daily Prayer that I have actually prayed the Daily Office completely from Morning to Midday to Evening to Compline. I want to encourage you to find whatever works for you. Whatever time using whatever tool that helps you to prioritize and realize your time spent with God. I share this old Celtic blessing as a prayer for you:

O God, make clear to us each road.
O God, make safe to us each step;
when we stumble, hold us;
when we fall, lift us up.
When we are hard-pressed with evil,
deliver us;
and bring us at last to Your glory.

Change for Louisiana?

"We believe Gov. Kathleen Babineaux Blanco will announce she will not be a candidate for re-election." - Babs Zimmerman, KALB Newschannel 5, Alexandria, LA.

Aside from giving away dogs and cats, Babs Zimmerman shows up on KALB on occasion to opine on Louisiana politics and call election returns. She was all but giddy on live television the night Kathleen Blanco was leading Bobby Jindal in returns for Governor. Her political leanings are difficult to hide. That is why I find it all the more interesting that she predicted that Blanco will not run for re-election. I'm still not sure who "we" represents in the transcript of her on air segment to which I've linked. I would have to imagine she must have been near tears to make such a prediction, given her glee and optimism for Blanco's ascension. Time will prove whether she is right, but the ball has started rolling down hill once the Governor's most enthusiastic supporters join her opponents in declaring her political demise.

Will the Emerging Church Fully Emerge?

"Will the Emerging Church Fully Emerge?" by Frank Viola is a thought provoking critique of the emerging church. He spotlights several areas that should be considered and engaged in dialogue. His repeated insistence on what I consider a "pure democracy" form of church polity is where I primarily disagree with him. Throughout scripture God called, equipped, and used individuals to lead His people. Several of the spiritual gifts demonstrated in the New Testament are gifts used for leadership in the body. I am in definite agreement that professional clergy have had a detrimental impact upon church health and growth and do not reflect the New Testament church model. However, there is a legitimate and needed spiritual office of leadership. Sometimes you can't help but wonder if Frank didn't have a really bad experience with a former pastor that completely soured him on pastoral ministry. Regardless, I appreciate his perspective because he challenges me to examine what I really believe about the kind of church that honors God.