Don Corleone

I have a very difficult and personal confession to make. As a self-proclaimed movie junkie, I must admit that I have never seen The Godfather till today. In the interest of full disclosure I did see the last 30 minutes on cable last year. Although I think I've seen just about every other mob movie known to man, I just could not live in the dark any longer. I had to see the Don.

The movie did not disappoint. It's like watching stars being born before your very eyes. Without question it set the gold standard for mob flicks. I've been a Sopranos fan for a while now, but while I'm confessing my toenails, I must say I've never seen the first three seasons. I've been waiting to get the box set and watch them in a marathon.

Ok. I feel like I've arrived now. I'm a grown up, like I'm part of a circle of insiders, those in the know, but, somehow, I don't think the Don would approve of blogging.

Never let anyone outside the family know what you're thinking. ~ Don Corleone

No One Knew My Name

I was listening to No One Knew My Name by Marc Broussard today. The words really resonate with me. They're testimonial.

Some people say that I've changed in every way
That the life I'm leadin' gonna lead me away from your grace
But there ain't nothin' like a brand new day
Get to start all over with a big ol' smile upon my face

I aint' gotta prove nothin' to them
Got nothin' to lose cause I remember when

No one knew my name except for you baby
No one feels the same as I do
No one's walked a mile in my shoes lately
No one knew my name except for you, yeah

Life is about the journey it's not about the end

To Preach or Not to Preach

That is the question.

It will soon be a year since I've preached, almost that long since I've been to church. I thought my phone just quit ringing with invitations, but I seem to remember turning down at least two long term commitments in the last couple months. I got another call a few days ago to preach homecoming at a church I pastored several years ago. Tradition has a former pastor come in to preach that day. I always dreaded homecoming while I was there, because you never knew what kind of nut would come in and bore everyone to death or confuse the hell out of them. Then I'd have to clean up the mess. I'm debating on whether or not to go. Part of me thinks I should do it, since they seem to be in a bind to find somebody, and I would hate for them to be tortured by the alternative. Most of me just doesn't know what to say.

I'm such a completely different person than I was. My beliefs have changed substantially. The older I get and the more life experiences I have the more I realize that I don't know anything. Honestly, I think I had this thing figured out when I was 19, but now, I don't know jack. It's not that I don't possess knowledge. I can argue any position. I know them well. I just don't have a position anymore. No angle. No game. No ego that needs stroking. I'm convinced of the possibility that I might be wrong and everyone else might be right. Not a good foundation from which to claim exclusivity to divine truth. I generally respect differing viewpoints and values. The only people I don't want to dialogue with are those that are too pigheaded to give others a fair hearing.

So, what do I say? I'm pretty screwed up. I could easily talk about that for a while. I could do like many of the others that show up and reminisce about the good ole times we shared and tell funny stories, but there's a lot of pain and mixed emotions in looking back on that experience. I could whip out an old sermon. I've preached at least a couple hundred new ones since I was there last, but I'd rather throw up than pretend. I want to just talk about some of things I've learned and how I've changed, but I don't want the day to be about me, and I despise topical sermons. Maybe I just won't go. People don't really want to hear what I'll say. It would probably disturb them. Sure, the sadists say they want somebody to "tell it like it is," but they mean someone to beat up on the failure and weaknesses of others, so easily characterized as sins. No one wants to hear about selfishness, hypocrisy, greed, apathy, etc.

I suppose someone would say I should pray about it, but it's been a while since I've done that too, at least in the traditional sense of the word. I've felt a need to sit in silence for the last few days, and it's long overdue. I guess meditation works for some people. I haven't gotten to that yet. I'm still a beginner. It's all I can do to sit down, be still, and shut up for 30 minutes. Now there's an idea for a sermon well spent.

Garden Pictures

Thought I'd share a few pictures after my last garden update. The zucchini is producing well, as you can see. Almost overnight, they double in size to these giant 12" long 2" thick monsters, which are surprisingly still fairly tender. You will notice in the middle of the stems an example of the blossom end rot I blogged about. The fungicide and thinning have definitely improved the plants but some fungi is still a problem.

The tomatoes are producing like crazy. There are several large clusters of tomatoes on every plant, like the ones seen here. They are beautiful without any blemishes. The rust problem seems to be contained by carefully removing any affected leaves after they're spotted. The cherry tomatoes have grown over 7 feet tall and are loaded with tomatoes.

The jalapeños are about two inches long, bright, and shiny, just like the bell peppers, but my cucumbers are still struggling. I'm worried that they've got bacterial wilt caused by cucumber beetles early in the season, which is untreatable at this stage. We'll just have to wait and see.

Tomatoes Galore

Garden Update

Since I last posted about my garden, I've got tomatoes coming out my ears and have just started getting a few picked. I've got 4-8 large tomatoes per plant. The Super Fantastics are twice as tall as the Heat Wave II, but they both have about the same number of tomatoes and look large and delicious. I had a little bit more rust show up last week, but quick leaf pulling seemed to stop it from spreading. My cherry tomato plants have outgrown their stakes. After re-staking they're close to 7 feet tall now and loaded with about four large clusters of tomatoes per plant.

The bell pepper and jalapeños are loaded with buds and shiny new peppers.

The zucchini and squash have given me a hard time with powdery mildew and blossom end rot. Both are caused by fungi, as far as I can tell. The first fungicide I applied did not seem to eliminate the problem. I think part of the problem is that the plants were too close and stayed too wet, so I went drastic and pulled every other plant to give them room and keep them drier. A few days, water, and miracle gro later, they are perking up, and I got my first mess of zucchini pulled to eat. One zucchini was over 12 inches long and two inches in diameter! Maybe it is working. I applied a different kind of fungicide yesterday to fight off the powdery mildew. We'll see what happens.

We ate our first cucumbers last week. They were so good. Sometime late last week many of the leaves started turning yellow and brown before drying up. I worried that the fungicide burned the leaves, but clover near the cucumbers and near the house also were affected. I pulled all the bad leaves last night and applied a new fungicide. Time will tell.

In the meantime I have a window sill full of tomatoes!

13.2 Billion Years

Astronomers date star's birth back to nearly the dawn of time

Alice White Lexia

What the heck is Lexia? I had no idea what it was other than a white wine, which was enough to get me to try this 2006 Alice White Lexia since I enjoyed their Chardonnay so much recently. I expected some kind of Sauvignon Blanc but was surprised to find a tangy sweet flavor. It seemed most like a Riesling to me, but it had just a little lime kick to it. Once I looked at their website, I learned that Lexia was made from Muscat grapes grown in Austrailia. No wonder I liked it. I love Piedmont Moscato. While the Lexia is nowhere near the quality, it's a great easy to drink refreshing wine for hot weather like this. Salute!

Living Unplugged

A recent post by my friend at Sim Church got me to thinking about living unplugged.

It's been about 9 months since I've been in a church service, about two years since I've been in a service I wasn't preaching. My wife doesn't care about going either. I don't feel guilty at all. I feel free to be honest. I mostly don't know how to respond to comments and questions that come up in conversation regarding faith. I don't want to be disrespectful, so I nod and shift to another topic. Will Campbell said, "Beliefs are what people are hung up on, not ethics or morals. If you don't believe a certain way, then the people in that religion will clean you out." I don't think most people I know in the South are ready for this discussion.

I don't feel my kids are missing out on their core moral development because they're not listening to flannel board stories and doing color sheets in a Sunday School class somewhere. Still, they have questions. They have a natural desire to wonder. I've been reflecting on how I grew up in church and how I've seen other children come up in church. There's an overall conditioning process at work, albeit subtle. I'm not sure I want my kids brainwashed by somebody.

I suppose some "dyed in the wool" fundamentalist is reading this and aghast that my children will die and go to hell if they don't ask Jesus into their hearts. I've thought about that a lot. I've had a hard time buying the whole spin on eternity for a long time. If you ask me to imagine God, a supreme being of the universes, burning my kids in hell for all eternity because they told a lie, were mean, or stole a friend's toy and didn't subscribe to a certain religious tenet, you need therapy.

Micael Ledwith said our culture often views God as sitting up somewhere "registering the scores on his laptop as to whether we perform according to his designs or whether we're offending him, as it's put, an absolutely outrageous idea. How could we offend God? How could it matter so much to him? How could it, above all, matter that he would find it so serious a situation that he could conform us to an eternity of suffering? These are bizarre ideas."

So do we haul our kids to church to make sure they get the same "rearing" that we did, even if we have since rejected it, just to "be sure?" Is that what Christianity is, an insurance policy? Got to make sure everybody's covered, just in case they're right and we're wrong? Nada.

I think it's natural to have an epiphany moment in life, but I don't think it has to take the form of "getting saved," walking the aisle, and getting baptized. I think we don't know how to react to newfound awareness or enlightenment other than to do whatever someone tells us to in those critical and vulnerable times in our lives. I want to be there in those moments in the lives of my children to answer their questions honestly, being sure to say that I don't know when I don't. I want them to nurture a sense of wonder, belonging, and grattitude that will stay with them no matter which path they take. Any religion that makes people feel less than they really are is worthless in my opinion.

So the question is rightly asked by my friend. What do we do now? Do you run to the nearest church on Sunday morning, throw yourself on the altar in a uncontrolable sobbing confession, and ask the church to embrace you and nurse you back to faith? Do you sneak in the back pew and check the attendance box for the week, even though you can't buy what they're selling? I just can't do it. I'm not saying I won't go to church again. I've been talking about a few churches I'd like to visit, mostly other denominations that I'm not familiar with, and when I go, I'll go with an open mind and listen respectfully. Maybe there will be something I can grab hold to and assimilate. Maybe there won't. But I refuse to get in line for the weekly hen-pecking.

On Will Campbell

The Town Talk published an article on Will Campbell in today's paper written by Robin Miller. As a history minor in college with mostly Southern history under my belt, the name Will Campbell rang a bell. As I kept reading, I was awestruck. I love the gritty side of the South and have no greater fondness in my heart than I do for rebels, outlaws, and mystics. I share just a few lines from the article that described my experience in the church and my departure from pastoral ministry and hope they'll entice you to read the article yourself.

Will, who after having pastored one Southern Baptist Church, gave it up forever -- pastoring, not ministering.
"I resolved to be a Baptist minister of the South until the day I die, though never again a Southern Baptist preacher," he has said. "For the first time, I knew there
was a difference. And what it was."

Still, meeting Will isn't meeting a preacher at all. And he's not what you'd call a writer of religion or Christian literature, but simply a writer.

"Beliefs are what people are hung up on," he'll say, "not ethics or morals.If you don't believe a certain way, then the people in that religion will clean you out... A lot of those people will claim to be conservative. But they're not. They're just mean."

Amen. It's refreshing to find people to identify with and who share a common journey. I've already put a couple of his books on hold at the library and can't wait to read them. Here's to you, Will!

Alice White Chardonnay

I was impressed by a 2006 Alice White Chardonnay I tried at a restaurant. Although my experience with Austrailian wine has been limited to the $10 and under bottles, and I am not a fan of Yellow Tail, this Aussie delivered. This Chardonnay is very smooth and easy drinking. It's very simple, not too heavily oaked and just dry enough. The fruit is mild and not overpowering. It lacks the wierd tanginess I get in Yellow Tail. For $6.50 a bottle how can you go wrong. I have no doubt there are higher quality Aussie Chardonnays, but I can't imagine a better one for under $10. I noticed on the company website that they've recently overhauled the image and marketing of their wines. It will probably be showing up in more restaurants as a result. This will definately be my everyday white wine of the summer. Salute!

Man In the Moon

Without a doubt, one of the best movies I've seen in a while is Man In the Moon (1991) with Reese Witherspoon, Jason Landon, and Sam Waterston. I didn't know the movie existed and only watched it because my wife picked it out. I learned that it was filmed not far from here in Natchitoches, LA. It appears to be the first major motion picture for Reese Witherspoon who, I also just learned, was born in New Orleans. This was not the typical cheesy southern movie. It is a heartwarming and heartbreaking drama delivered by a stellar cast. Witherspoon was destined for a great career after this debut. She had to be about 15 years old at the time of filming, which made her nude scene shocking, although very innocent. The feel, quality, and setting of the movie is similar to The Notebook, although it is a coming-of-age film. I highly encourage you to see this great movie from Louisiana.

My Garden

This is the best garden I've had so far. This is the second year that I've planted in this part of the yard with more sun and better drainage. As someone relatively new to gardening, I have a lot of questions. I've found a lot of answers online and at the local library. Maybe some of you out there would like to know the same things as me. I'll try to post updates on my progress and trial by error.

This year I have four rows over 20' long each. My rows are spaced good (except for the giant zucchini plants that are shading my bell peppers), but I planted the plants a little too closely. My plants consist of: twelve tomatoes, twelve cherry tomatoes, twelve green bell peppers, six jalapeno peppers, six zucchini, six yellow crook neck squash, and twelve straight eight cucumbers.

In years past I always waited till Good Friday to plant my garden, but then I had to contend with heat of the summer and watering needs even more. I planted early this year before Easter once soil temps were up but days were pleasant in early March. I gambled against a late freeze, but we got one around Easter with a touch of snow flurries. I was out of town and hadn't covered my plants, but they seemed only mildly affected by the freeze.

Couple days after the freeze my tomato leaves started turning yellow and shriveling up. I thought it was from the freeze, but it kept getting worse and spreading. Not knowing what it could be, I thought maybe it was rust. I still don't know for sure but pulled off every leaf with any hint of yellowing. I may have overpruned them, but a week later they were greener than ever and growing like crazy again.

Two weeks after planting my garden my Burpless cucumbers were turning yellow and dying quickly. It happened too fast to do anything about it. I thought maybe the cool days had an effect on them, but I'm not sure. I replanted the entire row with Straight Eight cucumbers instead, leaving only the last two or three Burpless survivors. I also planted Marigolds throughout my cucumbrit rows. I learned that they are a natural repellent for bugs that love squash, zucchini, and cucumbers. So far, no bugs, and the garden looks nice with the color.


I tilled 13-13-13 fertilizer into the soil when I tilled up the garden. Last year I put a small handful in each hole covered by a little dirt with the plant on top, but this year just let it slide. I have been regularly spraying the plants with Miracle Gro, especially early on then again once vegetables began appearing. I also mulched the garden this year for the first time to help with disease and drought prevention. I have soaker hose on each row set on a water timer. Since I'm out of town a lot, it doesn't get watered consistently otherwise. The timer works great. I generally water for 30 minutes every other day or every 3rd day when it hasn't rained, trying to water deep to stimulate root growth. I also didn't make raised rows this year. I know. I know. I'm lazy, but I also thought in this new spot the plants would have less of a struggle for water in the heat of the summer. I just have to make sure not to over water for now.

The only possible result of not planting in raised rows that I've been able to notice is that my zucchini and squash have developed wet rot on the blossom end. After the flower fell off the end nearest the flower turned a dark wet brown. After talking to the folks at our Cooperative Extension office, they recommended a fungicide to stem the problem. I just applied a product yesterday for wet rot. Before I applied it, I noticed that it wasn't a fugicide after all but actually an aid for calcium deficiency that can cause wet rot. It is recommended for tomatoes and cucumbrits, so I thought it couldn't hurt. I'm going to watch to see if it corrects the problem. If not I'm going to find a fungicide to try also.

I'm having fun watching it grow. I've always had good luck with cherry tomatoes and bell peppers, but my tomatoes and squash are doing better than ever this year. I've never seen zucchini plants so big ever. We'll have plenty to eat if I can stay on top of everything. If you have tips or ideas to share, please post a comment. I hope you find something helpful when you stop by. Good luck!

Financial Biz Buzz

For some reason I was fascinated by the financial buzz yesterday over Rubert Murdoch's proposal to buy Dow Jones/The Wall Street Journal for $5 Billion. Moments after his interview with Neil Cavuto on Your World the Bankroft family, which owns DJ/WSJ, rejected his bid outright. The way I see it, a lot of people made a lot of money on the speculation of what could be, given that the DJ stock price went from $32 to $54 on the news. If Murdoch bought Dow Jones, he could have sold off the financial management side of the company and recooped a large part of the purchase price and integrated the Journal with his upcoming Fox Biz Channel. Although his bid was rejected, News Corp received a tremendous amount of free publicity for its new cable network and made a statement that its serious about being a player in the financial market.

I've had an interest in financial happenings for a long time. As a history nut, I was always impressed with the tycoon's of yesteryear, such as William Randolph Hearst, Andrew Carnegie, John D. Rockefeller, as well as modern moguls like Jack Welch, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, and Murdoch himself. I thoroughly enjoyed economics courses I took in college, but really took more interest once I played the stock market online for a year. The first day I sat down with $300 to buy shares, I bought Books a Million (BAMM). They were set to release earnings reports that day and speculation was that it would be better than expected. Sure enough I sat down that morning and watched the stock steadily climb from $4 a share until it peaked out at $47 a share before noon. I got out just before it peaked somewhere around $38. I had made $2,500 in about an hour and a half. That will spoil you, as it doesn't happen often. I haven't played the market since that year, but I definately enjoyed learning more about it. News like this just makes me want to get back into it even more.