Changes & Conversations

You know, for the first time in a really long time I feel comfortable in my own skin. Well, for the last couple years actually, but that's saying a lot considering how long I lived in a glass bowl swimming in circles trying to please everybody and be all things to all people. Enough. Reminds me of hearing John Maxwell talk about the Apostle Paul. He asked, "what can you do to a man who's not afraid of dying?" I'm not looking to check out of here anytime soon, but I don't have to live in the people-pleaser business anymore.

I can be myself without fear of being fired for it, which is incredibly liberating. Being self-employed has had an equally empowering effect in my life. Granted, it's tough at times. Feast or famine. You want it? You have to go out and make it happen, but being able to decide when, where, and how you get it done fits my personality so much better than punching a clock. I don't like limits. I love freedom. Doesn't everyone? I'm not sure sometimes.

I love being able to ask questions. Why are people so threatened by questions? I love to imagine possibilities. Why does it only have to be one way? I love to make new friends. Why does it have to be "us" vs. "them"?

We had about 30 people come through our house today for a birthday party. I thought about how many genuine connections I made today, and they were only a few. Beyond the "hey how are you's" and "good to see you's" there's not much connection happening by default. It reminded me a lot of church, how people come in and out to watch the same show for an hour. It doesn't mean they connected with each other any more than the people watching the $4.50 matinee. Connection takes intention.

I'm running into more and more people who are in similar places in life, somewhere between where they were and where they're going. So many people have lost faith in the church but still have deep spiritual convictions and tough questions. I love those people. Those are great conversations. Good friendships come from listening and wondering together. It's so much easier to have meaningful conversations with people when you don't have to steer the conversation to make your point, get your angle, or push your cause. People really open up over a cold beer or a nice cup of coffee. There's a cool moment in the conversation when they realize you're not pushing anything, you're not judging them, you're actually interested in them for who they are. It's like they just relax and set at ease. It's fun to take the trip together just to see where the road ends.

Leave a comment, hang out for a while, dig in the fridge, change the channel. Mi casa, su casa. I'm going fix a drink. Here's to good conversation!