Christmas, Confusion, and Casino Cremation

Christmas finds me wondering. I've been hearing pieces of the nativity story relayed through the mass marketing of Christmas by stores, churches, and news outlets, and for some reason this year it's sounding more and more like telling kids about Santa Claus to me. I've been on a slippery slope to agnosticism for a while, if I haven't already rolled to the bottom of the hill. I'll spare you the play by play of how I got here for now, but I'll give you a wide angle shot of the process.

When you've been behind the scenes preparing for the magic show and you've rehearsed it so many times you can do it in your sleep, when the big day comes it doesn't have the same flare for you as it does for the audience seeing it for the first time. It's sort of like the mystery entree at your favorite restaurant. You know you like it, just don't ask what's in it. Professional Christianity is a dangerous thing for those on stage. After a while, in fact during the whole presentation, you're asking yourself if you believe what you're selling. Here is the beginning of my post.

I've been reading Barbara Brown Taylor's book, Leaving Church, in which she compares her decision to leave the priesthood to a couple's decision to dissolve a marriage. You have to determine if it's the spouse you can't live with or the whole institution of marriage in general. Well, for me, it's just the whole institution of church I can't buy into anymore. It seems like a racket to me. Understand my sentiments are tempered by a couple years of post-ministry reflection, and I readily admit my current state of cynicism.

Being on the front lines close to the action was more than enough to put doubts in my mind as to the purpose and effectiveness of what we were doing in the church. Since leaving I have allowed everything I thought I believed to be vulnerable to suspicion and testing. I'm not going to cling to something for the rest of my life just because I was raised on it. It's got to go deeper than that for me, or I'm jumping ship and finding something else that I'm willing to live for.

I've tried to throw out everything I knew about church tradition and program and isolate a basic set of operational values by which I could live by. The more I widdled down the pulpit I didn't end up with anything resembling the church I knew. I understand more how we got in this mess and created this monster, but I don't have a clue as to how we are going to collectively get back to the original design.

My fasicination with astro-physics, origin and development of the universe and stellar systems, has led me into some deep theological waters. It is beyond amazing how much scientists and theorists have learned about where we come from and how this all got started. They readily admit they haven't unlocked the "mind of God" yet, but they are pretty dang close. So now the doubts that lingered in the back of my mind for years in the church have come forefront with scientific evidence that completely contradicts the conservative, literalist interpretation of the Bible, which I always had a problem with but didn't want to discuss.

I watched an amazing documentary on the History Channel the other night on the true history of Christmas, which traced its development from a "pagan" winter solstice celebration through its hijacking by the Church and ongoing battle between secular and religious observances. It was absolutely amazing. I'd known about many of the secular traditions that predated the religous traditions, but when strung together piece by piece it's so much easier to see how embellished the nativity story is. That just as Zionists in the time of David and the prophets hijacked local pagan mythology and adapted it to fit their Zionist tradition, so did the early oral tradition in the church pick up and adapt local mythology into the story of the birth of Jesus, as the Church would also intermingle the observation of the birth of Christ with ongoing pagan celebrations of Christmas.

I don't know if I'm going to throw the baby out with the bath water or what. I don't know what I believe anymore. I don't know if I'm going to believe again or not, but if I do, I will come back to the faith on entirely different foundations that those I was planted on.

I was asked by a close relative to assist with a funeral for a distant relative this Christmas weekend. I gave up weddings early this year. I've had enough of them. I quit. I think this may just end up being my last funeral. I haven't preached in a while. Been turning down invitations. I can't stand up in front of people and lie, and I'm pretty sure they're not ready to hear what I really think at this point. I haven't even been to church in months. I've enjoyed not going and really could care less about when and where I go back, although I have to lie and tell my church-going friends that I've visited a few places here and there, so they'll feel better and won't be burdened to witness to me. If I were to be honest about how I feel and what I think, it would seriously screw up the theology and self-confidence of a lot of people I know who are perfectly content being plugged into the Matrix. If they want to go down the rabbit hole one day, that's great, but I'm not pulling their plug until I know just where the hell this thing is going.

So after I got suckered into agreeing to "assist" with this guy's funeral, who I don't know, I found out it's a memorial service because he's going to be cremated. Ok, fine, whatever. Doesn't bother me none. Then I find out from family members that he was quite the "hell raiser" in his day. Never darkened the door of the church and was quite a jerk to most who knew him. He's been in nursing home for a while, lost a battle with cancer at 58. Kicker to the whole story I learn tonight is that when the memorial service is over his wife is spreading his ashes on the front lawn of the local casino, his favorite place in the whole world. So, here I am, a drop out preacher, on the verge of losing faith if not my mind, going to speak at this guy's funeral tomorrow who apparently didn't believe in anything except finding a machine that's hot. I got to admit, if God is real, He's got one hell of a sense of humor.

Yuletide Hypocrisy Lingers Past Epiphany

My wife asked me if I needed help picking up my jaw during our Sunday morning drive to church. It had literally dropped when she read the elementary school marquee aloud to me. It read "Great Americans' Day, January 16, School Closed." I suppose that I should not have been so taken back considering we were driving through a small rural town in Central Louisiana, but I was stunned and saddened. A number of thoughts came to mind.

I wondered if the schools on the west end of the parish in the predominantly black parish seat displayed "Great Americans' Day." Somehow I doubt it. I have yet to understand how one school principal has the authority to single handedly change a federal holiday adopted by Congress in 1983, signed by Pres. Ronald Reagan into law, and ratified in the state of Louisiana as a paid holiday for state workers. Does redesignating the holiday at will imply that the school principal and staff wish to have the day off without pay?

It should be noted that Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Birthday is listed as a holiday on January 16, 2006 by the U.S. Postal Service, the U.S. House of Representatives, the White House, the LA State Department of Education, and neighboring parish school boards. "Great Americans' Day" is not a federal holiday, and a Google search lists few places that observe the day sometime in either February or March.

It is interesting to note that the same demographic residing in this rural community represent the same "Christian" segment of our population that protested the replacement of "Merry Christmas" with "Happy Holidays" only a few weeks earlier. No one should be forced to celebrate a holiday they do not believe in, but a public entity such as a school should not be used to promote a political agenda or practice "reverse political correctness," otherwise known as discrimination. An appropriate resolution might be to require the school principal and students to actually study the life and message of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., a great American.

Lessons in the Gifts

Welcome to the 21st century! Yes, I know it started six years ago, but I just got my first iPod for Christmas. I wanted an .mp3 player just so I can listen to my favorite music in my car while working. After doing my research and seeing the depletion of .mp3 players from store shelves leading up to Christmas, I came to only one conclusion. iPod is the way to go. I discovered that the 30GB iPod video/photo model was only $50 more than the 4GB iPod Nano. It became a no brainer for me. I realize it's bigger and has a hard drive versus a compact flash player, but it's perfect for me and way more storage than I need (I'll regret that statement in 3 years). With my new iPod I've also discovered the world of podcasting. Now that is first class.

We also got a junior tent, sleeping bags, lanterns, and the like for our two boys, in addition to other things. I did my fatherly duty of laying in the tent Christmas afternoon with my boys playing on top of me, making my outdoor nap a pipe dream. While laying there enjoying the lazy sun and cool breeze, I remembered how fun it was to go camping as a kid and just be outdoors in general. For a split second I thought maybe I should buy a bigger tent and take my family camping. I'm still trying to psychoanalyze where that thought came from.

As I laid in the tent, I began to think about how opposite the two gifts were. The iPod represents the cutting edge of technology and the hottest trend, while the camping gear was definitely retro, even primitive, but I enjoyed them both. It reminded me of this conversation that we are having about emerging ecclesiology and the reality that in order to go forward sometimes you have to go backwards.

I have to come to believe that this new move of God among His people is paved with core truths of scripture tested in the authentic faith of the saints of the ages. I have long been fascinated by spiritual disciplines, early confessions of the Church, and simple practices of the first believers. It has been very reassuring to me to find so many of those engaged in this conversation on the same path back in time to find the roots of our Christian tradition. It reminds me of discussions we had in college (Louisiana College, Alumni 1999) trying to deliniate the traditions of the church and our own preconceived notions from what really happened in the Bible. Most of the people I have encountered in the emerging church are simply trying to know Christ more fully so that they might be more like Him in every area of their lives. I saw that they are encouraging friends of the emergent church to display the new emergent logos on their sites, books, conferences, etc., so here's my contribution for the time being:



While I had a precusory introduction to many of these ideas in college, I did not fully engage this dialogue until the fall of 2004. Since that time, I have begun reading the Bible differently. It is fresh again, and its boldness takes hold of me. I come to the words with an open mind reading with different lenses. I made the misunderstood comment several weeks ago in church that the longer I am a Christian the less answers I think I have. When I was younger and more indoctrinated, I had an answer for everything, and of course, there was only one right answer. Now, I am humbled in awe of the greatness of God, the love of Christ, and the nearness of the Spirit. It doesn't bother me to gladly tell someone, "I don't know." Over the years, I've learned to be content, even thrilled, with the mystery. I can be satisfied with not knowing because I know the One who knows, and He knows me.

Christmas Hypocrisy

An excerpt from an article "To save Christmas, change the date" by Charles C. Haynes, senior scholar at the First Amendment Center:

Because Christmas falls on Sunday this year, some prominent evangelical churches canceled worship services, expecting low attendance. This surprising turn of events might inspire Christian warriors fighting to "save Christmas" to rethink their strategy. Rather than condemn the "happy holiday" speck in Wal-Mart's eye, they might notice the Yule log in their own.

Well, worth a read. I'm not in the camp of rock throwers railing against churches that canceled some or all of their services for Christmas, but it is ironic that it is most likely those same parishoners and pastors who are protesting the omission of Christ from Christmas. Any way you slice it, it's hypocritcal.

Speaking the Same Language

A recent article in our local newspaper caught my attention and made me laugh. It is a syndicated op-ed piece by Leonard Peikoff of the Ayn Rand Institute called "Why Christmas should be more commercial." It gives a brief history of the secular origin of Christmas and its transition into a religious holiday. The premise of the article is that "It is time to take the Christ out of Christmas, and turn the holiday into a guiltlessly egoistic, pro-reason, this-worldly, commercial celebration." While I disagree that the religious aspects of the holiday should be removed, I think the article puts a spotlight on the culture war in America between religious fundamentalists and secular humanists. I can only imagine many Christians that I know in our little notch of the Bible belt crying out "blasphemy" as they read the article. Most people have little knowledge of history, let alone church history, but rather have assumptions and interpretations that have little or no basis in fact. Many would be surprised to know that Jesus' birthday is not 12/25/0.

Peikoff uses historical record to show the secular origins of Christmas which predated the Christian celebration. After failed attempts to steer the faithful away from such pagan celebrations, he says, "the Christians came to a decision: if you can't stop 'em, join 'em. They claimed (contrary to known fact) that the date was Jesus' birthday, and usurped the solstice holiday for their Church." I would like to think the adoption of the secular celebration as the Christmas holiday was not a concession of defeat by the church but rather a bold effort to reach the culture that followed a Biblical model.

This kind of theological hijacking is no new phenomenon in church history. King David and the prophets borrowed Canaanite tradition and imagery and adapted it to form a new Zionist tradition that would rally the Israelites as a people and bind them to Jerusalem and the land of Israel. This kind of borrowing and improvising occurred numerous times in the Old Testament, especially in Creation accounts and the flood narrative. Jesus Himself adapted known images and stories from His culture to communicate a new message that people could both understand and long remember.

For example, in Luke 13:1-9 Jesus told a parable about a landowner who threatened to chop down a barren tree if it did not bear fruit. Jesus' illustration reflects an interesting folk tale that had been already told for centuries. A father once said to his son, "My son, you are like a tree which yielded no fruit. Although it stood by the water, its owner was forced to cut it down. But the tree said to him, 'Transplant me, and if even then I bear no fruit, cut me down.' But its owner said to it, 'When you stood by the water you bore no fruit, how then will you bear fruit if you stand in another place?'" There was also an Arabic tale about how to cure a barren palm tree. A man would take a friend with him to the barren tree. He would tell his friend how disappointed he is with the tree and how it must be cut down. He would then tap the trunk of the tree three times with the backside of his ax, and his friend would stop him saying, "Give it one more year to bear fruit."

In the first folk tale the tree had no excuses for being barren. The verdict was final. In the second tale the tree was given one more year to bear fruit or be chopped down. How striking then that Jesus changes these familiar stories, and has the gardener intervene personally saying, "Leave it alone for one more year, and I'll dig around it and fertilize it," (13:8). In Jesus' version the gardener uses his relationship with the owner to intercede for the tree, and it is that twist in the story that would be most memorable to those who heard it.

Jesus always started where people were. He spoke in a language they could understand, speaking not only their dialect but in stories and images that even children could grasp. Jesus also did not speak in vague religious abstracts but actually demonstrated in His life and actions the message that He preached. Perhaps, instead of decrying that "they want to take Christ out of Christmas" and "we should remember the real reason for the season," true believers should strive even harder to be more Christ-like during this time of the year and stop relying on the media, the government, and the marketplace to do it for them.